Do you think my anxiety will go??

[sickandtired]

im ok cathy thanx x
yeah,some days i still feel like i have to put alot of effort into doing things.....
i was just happy to be not having the anxiety and panic attacks at first.....now im not just content with that....i want my energy back,and that is the hard bit....i just feel like ive been run over with a steamroller.....i might get a burst of energy,but it doesnt seem to last long...
i dont feel down,but im thinking alot about my past and trying to work out in my head what has happened and how i can fix it.....it just seems like a battle and my head hurts with it all.mornings are a bit flat,but thats because kids have gone to school...and im like saying to myself..."right missis.....what you gunna do today?" and i never really know what to do....housework,washing,ironing,food shopping etc yeah fine.....but what am i gunna do to help myself feel better? its like i need someone to tell me what to do!
im going to go for a walk after because ive slacked on that again.......just in a weird mood today......think its my silly dreams again....plus i woke up at 5 sweating again

---------- Post added at 12:15 ---------- Previous post was at 12:13 ----------

sorry...how rude of me....How are you doing ?

[cathycrumble]

I think you will need lots of talking and not to yourself to you councilor or whoever it is you see and also your mum is there for you also and your chap don't forget him. And sometimes it is good to talk to people who have been through similar experiences and how they deal with it.

I know exactly what you mean about wandering what to do OH yes the house work ? lol I haave never been into that lol my ex husband was the fussy one lol It is sunny here so nice walking day.

I want a job but more than anythink I would love my old job back boo hoo.
I have just applied for a job in a bridal shop in liverpool city centre but not heard anything and I have also applied for a call centre as that is what i did for 7 years.

Oh well going to have another cup of tea and watch loose women then get ready and out I go.

Cathy xx

[Pudding]

Hi Cathycrumble

Seems to me that the meds just make us all worse so why do we take them? There must be another way. Once the side effects go we take them a while then we have to withdraw from them and go through hell again. I think the only people to benefit from them are the drug companies who make a fortune out of us sickies. I know we need something though, just wish there was some other way, counselling or something.

Pudding

[secretsquirrel]

sickandtired you have described almost exactly how I feel too. At first I was just delighted to have got over the worst of the side effects and on a bit of a high about how I was on the road to recovery. Now I can do all the basic things I could do before (all being well, this will be my first full week at work) but I think I could sleep 12 hours a day given the chance, and spend a LOT of time preoccupied about all the things I think are, or might be wrong with my life, how I might fix them etc.

I have no idea if the discontent and slight flatness is just a symptom of the depression, or if it means I (and we!) are now at the stage where we can think more clearly about the issues that caused the depression in the first place and are going to have to try and tackle them, rather than just coping with the physical side effects.

Like you said, Cathy, I think this is the stage where counselling will help, either CBT to start thinking about the way things are in a more positive light, or some other kind of talking therapy to work out what it is I want to change about my life.

I'm also worst in the mornings. Dragging myself out of bed to go to work is extraordinarily difficult. By the evenings I'm usually doing a bit better.

[cathycrumble]

I cant agree more with you sue. The hard times getting out of bed then thinking about sorting our probs out but I think it is helping to keep us a bit calmer. I have decided to go my daughters tonight as she having some friends round so taking my bottle of red and having a few tipples then sleep over.

better than sitting in lol

Cathy xx

[sickandtired]

ooh have a good night cathy !!! have a few (bottles) for me too!!!

sue - i love evenings.....bath,hot vimto or horlicks....bit of TV then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz love my bed at the moment x

[nicola1980]

Hope you have a fab night you deserve it xx

[cathycrumble]

Yes we had a good laf I did drink my whole bottle but feel ok today and I was my usual funny self after my little drinkypoo lol.

But you gota take each day at a time. I do not like being on this ESA as dont like it if I have to go for medical IE hate having my blood pressure taken but my gp says she will give me a letter to say not to take it as have had it done in surgery and it is fine. phew as this seems to be a stupid fear I seem to have clung to. but I am sure the CBT will help on that score plus I am feeling a little better these last few days with no sickness yipppeeee

Now for my soaps

Cathy xx