Growth on Soft Palate - Papilloma/Fibroma/Caner? So scared.

[MandySlade]

Hello, I've actually posted about this previously, but rather than bump the thread with new history... here you go:

I've had a "growth" on my soft palate, hanging next to my uvula (theres a little space between the two) for I'm guessing at least 10 years. It seems to be slightly more elongated than it used to. It's about the size of small pea, but flattish. Almost like a disc hanging down from a tab. I've been to countless doctors for other things, dentists, etc, whom have all looked in my mouth and not said a word. However, when I had some allergy testing done maybe 5 years back, the doctor said "you have a growth on your soft palate" and "thats odd". I told him I had had it for years and didn't think twice about it. Fast forward to a sudden panic over it that caused me to see my regular doctor maybe 6 months ago. He basically said he didn't know what it was, but it didn't look cancerous. He said I could eventually go to an ENT to have it removed and biopsied "to make sure". Now, I left well enough alone.. and over the last few days I broke into another sudden panic. I keep telling myself "growth!" ... "biopsy!" ...."cancer!" and feeling like an idiot, like I've signed my death warrant just ignoring it. It's clearly not "normal". I just always guessed it was a second smaller malformed uvula or something. Over the last couple days I've been googling about it and I keep seeing talk about HPV "warts" called Papillomas, other growths called Fibromas and the "Debates" on which can become malignant or not. I've been walking around all these years (and even telling people!) thinking I have two uvulas when in fact I could have some weird cancerous STD wart or whatever else. :( I know I may have made it sound funny, but I'm literally in tears. I can't afford to see a specialist (ENT) without insurance. I'm just so so very very scared. I feel like this is finally what "does it". :(

---------- Post added at 04:35 ---------- Previous post was at 04:08 ----------

OH MY GOD... I was just staring at it in the mirror and I notice a tiny black dot. :( :( :( I'm TERRIFIED. No, its not food or anything I tried touching it, washing my mouth, etc. It doesn't come off. Oh my god, this is it. I'm so scared. It's got a little pinhead black dot I've never seen before. :( :( :(

---------- Post added at 04:37 ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 ----------

Guy's I'm panicking so so very bad

[Zonja.j]

Oh gosh ................... What to say, what to say. CHILL, I also have anxieties about mouth issues. Go and get your biopsy and settle it for good, you'll feel much better when it's booked.

[LizeeeH]

Hi Mandy

Well I worked in a large dental practice and believe a dentist WOULD KNOW if it was suspicious, they would know better than a doctor SO because a dentist HAS seen it and not bothered then Im very sure its NOT cancer!!!! plus you've had it 10 years now.........so please dont worry......maybe when you go to your 6 monthly dental check just ask what it is, he probably hasnt said anything before because its NOTHING and you've never asked

[swgrl09]

If you have had it 10 years, I would not be worried at all. Get it checked out for your peace of mind to shut the door on your worry, but if it's been 10 years and it is not growing all over your mouth, you should be fine.

[xfilme]

Well i had oral cancer fears a couple years back and had a long chat with my dentist about it. According to him, oral cancers are fast growing. If you've had it ten years, I would say it seems unlikely (using my dentists logic) for it to be anything to worry about. Abnormalities do not mean there is something wrong disease-wise. The doc likely offered you a referral to ENT for abiopsy because he can tell that his reassurance isnt enough to stop your worrying.

The trouble with health anxiety is our tendency toward selective memory. For example, If a doctor tells us "theres nothing wrong with your heart, you're at no risk of a heart attack, but if you want reassurance we can send you for an ECG", then by the time we get home, we remember just "heart. ecg. heart attack" and start filling in the gaps with our over active imagination. Do whatever tests you feel necessary, but understand that the fastest way to remove the power from your health anxiety (and im sure many other HA sufferes will agree) is to BAN yourself from using Google as a biased GP to diagnose yourself, which will only make your anxiety ten times worse. x

[MandySlade]

The black dot was worrying me so bad I called the Dr today (my regular GP). He said to come in. So I went, and he told me it looks like maybe a small blood vessel ruptured in it or a piece of something got stuck in it. He said he still doesn't know exactly what it is and that the only way to know for sure is biopsy, but that he doesn't think I need one. A biopsy would cost me about 400 dollars (without insurance). He said to watch that spot and make sure it doesn't get bigger or multiply. So I'm thinking "great... I'll be constantly obsessed and watching it for when that happens". I don't even think "if" I think "when". He said "right now it doesnt look suspicious, but we should keep an eye on it" and I hear that as "eventually I'm going to tell you you have stage 4 cancer" He said it doesn't look like a papilloma to him, but it may be a fibroid tumor (and you know I love the word tumor) which are "usually just benign"... which of course I take to mean as "sometimes cancerous". And now my husband is angry with me because I went to the dr AGAIN, called him at work because I was freaking out, AGAIN... etc. Sometimes I really think I'm going to lose the love of my life over this bullshit. :(

*PS, the Dr also brought up my smoking and drinking as risk factors.. which in turn makes me "convinced" it has to be cancer, and it's my own fault.

[xfilme]

I totally understand the circle you are trapped in. I go through phases of resisting doctors appointments for months, then suddenly WHAM! im back there twice a week. We think very much alike, but then we both share the same problem, Health Anxiety. I found my family to be very impatient with me too in the early days, and personally I founf the only way of changing it was to 'educate' them on Health Anxiety rather than the symptoms I was experiencing, or my current health concerns. I found once they understood that I suffer from an emotional condition that causes me to be very sensitive to potential health threats, they began to be supportive rather than criticize me for running to the doctor time and time again. I think HA is very hard on those you love, but they have to realise that its not our choice and very hard on us too.... sometimes their support feels as vital to life as oxygen.

Only you can decide whether you should go private or not. You just have to weigh the cost of going against the reassurance you would get from it. Only you know whether based on doctors evidence you are over reacting or being sensible. Basically which ever choice you go for is the right one because you are the only person who can dictate your needs. If your fears are driving your partner up the wall, remember we are always here to chat, either through the forums or the chat room and can help you keep a level head at times when you feel your heads temporarily disconnected from your shoulders :P xx

[swgrl09]

Are there any local community health clinics that can offer it at a lower rate to you? Or maybe a place (or your doctor) could offer it to you on a sliding scale fee based on income.

This is not that I think you NEED the biopsy, but just that it would be nice for you to have the reassurance that you are ok so you don't have to stare at it every day looking for growth.

I only ask because I know how hard it is here to get good insurance, and I do social work for a living so these questions come to me automatically.