I was having such a good few days at the start of the week; absolutely nothing was worrying me and I felt like my old self again. But yesterday and today I have been going downhill again. My period is due soon and I think the anxiety could be worsening because of PMT (although I'm always moody and snappy leading up to my period!). I just feel so depressed today and had a real good cry, which helped, although I couldn't tell you why I was crying!

My bowel symptoms haven't changed, but more doubt is creeping into my mind. Does anyone else suffer IBS? I am worrying that although I have the "bowel movement" symptoms (the way they are described on info leaflets fits the description of mine perfectly!), I don't have the abdominal cramping that most people describe. I do have a left sided tummy pain but it is very on-off and lasts only a few seconds, comes and goes as it pleases. Most people seem to get really awful pain with their IBS and mine isn't like that at all. It's more discomfort really, just a niggly pain I'm aware of. The only reason I got it investigated was because it has been happening for 6 months now and because of my bowel habits.

I am also worrying that when I have a sigmoidoscopy, something will get missed in the parts of the bowel that can't be seen. I have had blood tests that all came back ok (full blood count, thyroid, ESR, liver/kidney function and tumour markers), but I'm worrying now that if sigmoidoscopy is ok, I will be dismissed with IBS, and that there may be something they've overlooked.

I'm also worrying that we are off on holiday in a couple of weeks and I'll ruin it for everyone if I feel so worried and depressed about everything.

I have just received some herbal remedies today (vitamin B complex, magnesium and Relora) so I will start taking and see if they improve my mood.

I've been looking forward to today all week, as it's my first day for ages without work - kids at school and sun shining. I went to the gym to try and improve my mood (didn't work for long). I hate feeling like this, I just want to snap out of it. I have just received Clare Weekes book so I will spend an hour in the garden with it and see if it helps at all.

Thanks for reading - if you have any advice I'd appreciate it!