one thing after another over and over

[miss sparkle]

hi everyone.
Hope you are all doing well today.
I just wanted to post as i feel like i am seriously losing the plot!
So far this month i have been worrying myself silly about breast cancer, bowel cancer, liver kidney cancer, now today its lymphoma.
I am a married women of 29 with 2 young kids, i work and am happy in my life, but i am starting to really lose control of my thoughts..
I have had various 'symptoms' of each of these things and i just go from one to the other and back again to the point right now i feel riddled with cancer.
It doesn't help someone mentioned the other day,quite innocently, that someone they know has only 6 months to live after finding out she had ovarian cancer that has spread.
oh yeah, had that and cervical this week too.
It sounds like a joke and if my husband read this he would have me sectioned, because i sound like a crack pot!
I just want to feel healthy and normal and this all to end :-(

[honeyb]

Miss Sparkle i know how you feel. I'm obsessed with Heart and Brain problems. But with anxiety if you worry about something and focus on it you will get the symptoms of that illness. I get chest pain, palps and convinced myself i have a heart problem, so instead of enjoying life i dwell on that. Today i have head symptoms and am convinced i will have stroke. I'm sure you don't have cancer. I suffered with anxiety a few years back too when i lost an uncle to Leukemia (convinced myself i had that too). Nine weeks ago i lost another uncle with a heart attack (now i think i have a heart problem) What i'm trying to say is that if we convince ourselves that we have something we will get the symptoms. If you are that concerned and its effecting your everday life then go to they drs and ask for a simple blood test. Hope this helps. xx

[robin321]

Yep. I've also had

Heart disease
Kidney disease
Parkinsons
Brain Cancer
ALS
MS
Lymphoma
and Skin Cancer

all in the last few months. Typing it you can see it is irrational, but the 'latest' thing always seems so real.

[miss sparkle]

Hi, Thankyou for your reply, its really horrible isn't it.
I had a blood vest at beginning of the year, and nothing came up, but not overly sure what was tested as at the time i was going through a dizziness faze, so think the tests was to check stuff for that.
I truly hate feeling like this, but everyone i try and think rationally, i keep thinking, anyone who has ever gotten cancer Im sure wouldn't of expected it, and probably told themselves not to worry before they found out.
Oh god, my stupid mind goes into overdrive!
STOP STOP STOP! lol

[AnnOBrien]

Hi Miss Sparkle, health anxiety is such an awful thing to deal with, and only you can bring yourself out of it by making every effort to distract and calm down. I have had similar experiences getting a twinge and thinking the worst. I also have thoughts of the fact that nobody is expecting something awful to happen and even young people can be struck down with a fatal illness (I'm 29). Even after blood tests and being told I was healthy I was still convinced the docs were missing something or aren't taking the symptoms serious enough because I'm young and therefore low risk. So frustrating! The anxiety also does strange things to be body, increasing symptoms and giving you new ones. It is only when you give your nervous system a break (i.e. calm down) that those symptoms will decrease which will make you worry less. I go through good and bad weeks / months, and am thinking that I may need some help to deal with the fears when they come over me. I think I'll chat to my doc and see about seeing a CBT therapist. Have you ever considered that?

[miss sparkle]

Hi Ann.
Thanks for replying.
Although i obviously wouldn't wish it on anyone, its nice to know i am not alone with my crazy thoughts!
From your post, sound like we are pretty similar with our anxietys!
I have limited my doctors visits to once a month or less atm, as i honestly feel like i get nothing out of my visits anymore.
I have been prescribed citraphram, but have so far been reluctant to take it because a. The side affects scare me. 2. I feet if i take it, i am admitting my problem is anxiety, and to be honest i am still convinced something more is going on- yes you guessed it, cancer! lol, OMG, i even make myself laugh with how rridiculous this all sounds.
I am starting counselling Tuesday, as i have had a few family deaths that i think have left some issues, but don't think its CBT.
How are you getting on x

[chrisduff]

Hi miss sparkle:-)
You are not alone,I feel like you have just described me! I have had all these fears also and im still living in fear that the docs have missed something and that I have a serious illness which I will die off. My family think im being ridiculous but they just cant understand how real it all feels:-( I am just trying to take one day at a time but still feeling all the strange sensations. I just wish all this would go away, its so exhausting trying to tell yourself its just anxiety. Hope you are having an ok day xx

[GreekGirl]

Hi Miss Sparkle,
I think most of us have health worries at one time or another, but dont let it ruin your life, if you want peace of mind you could always have various tests done by companies such as medicheck, google the name, they offer a wide choice of blood tests for men & women even cancer tests. I think the problem with our doctors is that they do not want to spend money on expensive blood tests unless you are practically dropping dead in front of them. I think it is worth spending a few hundred pounds if it means you can have a worry free life.
Good luck.

[miss sparkle]

Trust me if i had the money i would be booking all the private scans i could, but i have young kids and i couldn't justify spending money i haven't got on myself like that.
at the minute i have got alot of stomach aches and pains all over oh and i am feeling dizzy again which i thought i had seen the back of! very fed up. back to the doctors next week them!