little steps

[cassie1975]

I thought I would share my story so far, today is two years to the day my HA appeared. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how my life changed. I thought I was dying and the Doctors werent listening! I had all these symptoms and all people kept saying was its anxiety !!! I did not listen!! four weeks later numerous doctors appointments, blood tests and a visit to A and E. I gave in and was given Citalopram. Six months on Citalopram, gave me my life back but did not rid me of the thoughts. I went on holiday to Tenerife for two weeks. I became normal (if that's the right word), tried to live my life as normal as possible. Then January 2012 again something took over, I found a lump behind my ear went to the Doctors he diagnosed enlarged Lymph Node, did I believe him NO !! Why would I, he has only been doing his job thirty years but I have Google and Google has all the answers !!! Obviously not really but at the time I could not see reason. This time I coped without medication, I had enormous help from my loving Husband who sticks by me through thick and thin. I have a wonderful eight year old daughter who spurs me on continuously and fabulous and very understanding friends. I am currently battling with thoughts that because I am a large lady I am going to get some incurable disease, I am currently trying to slim down, little steps I have a long way to go. I wanted to share my story so far because today is not the best day, my thoughts are trying to take over and I have a few anxiety symptoms. I will not let this beat me, I will live my life whether it be long or short. It has got easier but it has taken time and I am taking little steps. Thanks for reading x x I always feel better if I write down my thoughts x x good luck and hugs x x

[Sal W]

Hi Cassie,

Really feel for you. I am in a similar place, lots of health scares in the last two months, all tests ok but in my mind I have had a brain tumour, MS, Motor Neurone, Parkinson's, bladder cancer, kidney cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer and sleep apnea! Have seen a neurologist, urologist, gynaecologist and had a sleep study. My anxiety and panic was so great that I was put on diazepam, started at 6mg now down to 4mg. I have lost over a stone in weight (I could do with losing another two but not this way!) Still getting jerks and twitches at night so not sleeping too well and am perimenopausal. I really understand your scare and I also admire your courage. Mine is coming back slowly but I find morning anxiety really difficult to cope with. You are not alone and feel free to pm me if you need to. Sending you , Sal x

[cassie1975]

Thanks Sal, I to understand what your going through my illnesses have consisted of bone cancer, lung cancer, breast cancer (a few times ) and Lymphoma. My G.P is very sympathetic and I have lasted two months without going to see her. I have symptoms which worry me but when I calm down they subside so I know it is anxiety. I made a promise to myself not to google any symptoms and give it a couple of weeks if symptoms have not subsided then make an appointment to see G.P. Some days I find this hard but with the support I have and using some CBT techniques I am finding it easier to cope x x HA is the hardest thing I have had to endure but I am determined to try and live my life regardless. When I was suffering with insomnia I tried Pilates and it was the only thing that helped me to sleep x x worth a try x x sending you hugs Sal x x x