Talked husband through panic attack on phone

[suzymbates]

Hi

Husband phoned up this afternoon - telling me he didn't know what to do and that he was thinking of calling paramedics out. Luckily his work colleague was driving at the time.

Told me he couldn't cope with sitting in the van and just wanted to get out of it. He was having trouble breathing again - like normally happens.

You'll probably think I'm heartless but I told him that he wasn't going to die nor was he going to phone for a paramedic as we've been and done that twice before in the past - and all they'll do is do an ECG, check you over and tell you you've just had a big panic attack.

Told him to stop fighting it, but he insisted he'd got to keep on fighting it to make it go away. Kept telling him to stop fighting it and let it run its course and think nice thoughts, ie of a nice place he'd been too.

He did make it home - but he still won't admit that running your own business, working long hours and 7 days a week is partly to blame for these attacks. When he was employed by somebody else - he didn't even know what a panic attack was.

Sorry to go on and probably already mentioned this before but after 5 years of this drives you to dispair - the constant worrying about whether he's going to make it home or have a nervous breakdown. I know it cannot be much fun for him too.

Fed up again.

Susan
xx

susan

[chucklehound]

Hi Susan and well done!!!

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Paddington]

you said all the right things,although it is hard to think rationally whilst in the throws ofa panic attack as death feels iminant!Your poor hubby,is he a member of nmp?As it may help take the pressure off you a bit.Hope he is feeling better now.love mary-rose,.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[ardyce]

Susan

What your husband needs from you more than anything is support.


We cannot help that we have this medical condition or beleive me we would give just about anything to be *cured*.

Imagine he has cancer or some other terrible illness that he cant control. Because he CANT control it. He is not a weakling....in fact most panic sufferers are quite strong and determined....in fact his may be part of the problem the need to overachieve and therfore subsequent breakdown. Would you be *fed up* if it was cancer? Well he cant help it any more than a person can help getting cancer.


Sympathy and support are SOOO important. I know because I HAVENT received it from my own family and so now deal with resentment and bitterness. They are fed up with me and I am so hurt because I truly cant do anything about this terrible condition.


For as disgusted as you are about this just remember that he is 100 times MORE miserable having to endure the symptoms... He needs your unconditional love desperately. You can be the one to help him through or as my family has done ...hinder.


A different perspective,

Ardyce

[nomorepanic]

Susan

Well done for helping him

See if this helps for next time ...

What to do if having a Panic Attack

Nicola

[suzymbates]

Ardyce

Thanks for your message - I'm sorry that your family have not given you the support you need. The trouble with him he is his own worst enemy.

He does get my unconditional support believe me, as I have been back and forth to the GPS with him, made him take his tablets, bought books, relaxation cds, arranged for him to see private counsellors, booked body massages for him.

I find it hard as I suffer from depression too and have 2 very strongwilled and demanding boys to look after.

I get very frustrated with him especially as he taks SRI's and drinks every night - despite being told by GP and all that alcohol affects the performance of these drugs.

Better go.

Thanks again.

Susan
xxx

susan

[ardyce]

Susan

As soon as I posted....it hit me that you were here on this site and that means that you really are *with him*. Forgive me for being so abrasive but I guess I was speaking from some of my own HURTS.

My husband has refused to support me. I have pleaded with him to read the testamonies on this site. He wont do it. Wouldnt show an ounce of care.

We are very religious and he just feels like it is all a lack of prayer and alot of emotionalism....(i guess...I really dont know why he is so cold in this area).

Anyway sounds like you are perhaps trying as hard or harder than him to overcome and I cant imagine how fustrating that would be.

I can just imagine a kind hand on my shoulder whilst in the midst of a PA might help me. Cant speak from experience but kindness seems rigt. Or even if my husband took the initiative to learn a bit about my condition ...something...Anyway....hes wonderful in many other ways just stinks in this one area where I feel I need him so desperately.

Will you forgive my quick assumptions?

Ardyce

[manmoor]

Hi Sue,

Well done to you.

Mandy

xx

[mirry]

Hi Sue,

when I was a kid I remember we wanted a Icecream from the Icecream van but my aunty said she couldnt go and get them because she couldnt leave the house, I remember asking my mum later why and she told me she panics. I remember thinking and saying to my mum.....
"how stupid is that" I just couldnt understand it.

Now Im the sufferer WOW, its really no picnic at all....
its a hidden disability that gets no recognition in the public.

Many people on here will tell you its the worst thing thats ever happened to them, it makes us grieve for the person we used to be and is so hard to come to turns with.

I think with your understanding and support your hubby can get thru this but remember to take care of yourself too.

mirryx

[Two heads]

Well done for the surport you are giving your hubby susan!Just try to under stand its very differcult to take charge of these panicks.They just come out of the blue,mine start with what i call a wave and then the panick follows.It can happen to anyone at any time.Im 31 and have only had this condition since december!Im now on ssris as i couldet cope any longer with my kids and hubby.
Has he read any of claire weeks books?Only self help for your nerves is good!
Good luckxxx