This morning I got a letter for my councelling appointment. I'm now able to get to the clinic to see the lady. But the date of the appointment is when my parents get back from holiday. I don't want the appointment on that day. It's at 9am and they won't be back till afternoon at the earliest, and my boyfriend would be setting off from here to work, (he stays with me when they're away), before they got back, and I'd want to get ready, have breakfast and make sure the house is tidy, I like to make sure everything is right for when they get back.

I told my Occupational therapist that I felt I couldn't do Monday because of above. And then I got upset because of a couple of things OT said to me, she wasn't been horrible but I could tell she thinks the above reason is an excuse and I could go that day.

She also told me that I need to ring the lady who's going to be giving me councelling, and I didn't feel comfotable with that. But she wanted me to at least try. And when I came off the phone I started crying which irritated my dad, he wanted me just to phone and I don't think he could understand why I couldn't just ring the councellor. He has since apologised. I know he gets frustrated. But at the time it made me feel more upset.

The thing is I feel like i'm such a weak person. For feeling it's too much for having the appointment on Monday, and also for feeling uncomfortable ringing the counceller. I just wanted to know if anyone else thinks I'm weak. Because at times I do feel I am.


Heather x