Going through a rough patch the past few weeks ... feeling like I cannot control my emotions even though I logically can.. I have two parts - logical part and irrational part that battle it out in my head and the irrational part always seems to win and I blow up and snap at my fiance and then the logical part kicks in and makes me feel awful about it.

Another therapy appointment tonight to tackle this ... it's so hard I feel like the therapy is bringing my emotions to the forefront and maybe in the long run that is more helpful but in the short-term it is making me feel awful and out of control.

We had a death in the family over the weekend ... the first funeral I have been to since my mom's a year and a half ago ... maybe that is making things worse. But I've been on edge for more than two weeks now. Was feeling good before that ... trying to get back to the good place for my relationships sake.