Friend won't accept his OCD. (Also discussing invasive thoughts)

[Indiepoos]

Hey everyone
I'm new here and this is my first post so be kind if I do something wrong

So my ex boyfriend suffers terribly. As I was his girlfriend for almost a year and a half (at beginning of his anxiety/panic attacks) I know more about how he suffers than anyone else, sometimes I think I know more about him than he does which brings me to my next point...

He's aware that he suffers from anxiety, depression and OCD and he's aware that he suffers badly but still he seems to deny them.

For example he gets terrible invasive thoughts (which is why we broke up, he was scared he was going to cause me harm) and for the last few days he's suffered from a sensation of not being able to breathe properly. He went to a doctor today who told him there's nothing wrong with his airways and it's just a part of his anxiety but still he refuses to believe it.

So even knowing that these horrid things are caused by his own brain he still gives into them and denies to himself that it's anxiety or OCD and tells himself that it must be a real problem, that he is acually going to go mad and kill someone or that he really will suffocate in his sleep.

Has anyone experienced this in themselves or anyone else? How can I convince him that it's all in his head when he's in denial and how can I help him to stop giving in to his thoughts. The more I try to tell him to let go and realise it's his anxiety the more he seems to demand that it isn't and that there really is something wrong with him.

Thank you to anyone who cares enough to read or reply

[mikewales]

Sounds a lot like health anxiety the thinking there must be something physically wrong, and not admitting it isn't even when the docs say he is OK.

[tiredOfOcd]

Trying to help the guy is noble and speaks well of you as a person. Your kindness and concern are really good things.

But - everyone who has OCD has to make the conscious decision that "I'm going to fight this because I deserve better and I'm not going to live like this anymore"

Everyone gets to that point at a different speed. It took me about 25 years before I did.

If you've told him what you think, then that's all you can do. He has to take the next step.

[lg123]

Hi, I know exactly how your ex feels as these are the exact same thoughts and experiences I've had.

I had a breathing obsession (linked to actual sinus problems) and I actually went to urgent care at the hospital because I thought I wasn't going to be able to breathe. I was convinced for a while that I was genuinely ill and would stop breathing. I even got to the point where I was scared of getting out of breath. The good news is on that front that it does go away when you've got something else to think about. I can't say for certain, but there is likely to come a point when he will recognise that he isn't ill. What really helped for me was relaxation, meditation and visualisation. I thought it would never go away but it did. If you search for breathing obsession on Google you will see how many people suffer from it and maybe it will reassure him that he won't suffocate.

As for the intrusive thoughts, I'm struggling with them an awful lot and it's a really scary and difficult time. Be kind to him as I suffer from immense guilt at having these thoughts and sometimes push people away that are trying to be nice to me. I would echo the point from tirdOfOcD though, that he really has to recognise that his problem is OCD before he can be properly helped. I would advise you to just be there for him and support him until this happens.

Feel free to PM me if you need any more advice. I actually got an anxiety work book that has some great breathing exercises that might help.