Missing my Dad

[Eclipse]

Hi Fran,
I, like everyone else, am sorry you feel so low at the moment (and had such an unhappy time in your younger years)

As you said yourself, you were chosen by your adoptive parents and that shows just how much you were loved and wanted.

Having posted similarly about my dad recently - one thing amazes me.

This forum is full of people from all walks of life, different countries, suffering from different anxieties - most of us are strangers.

Yet there is more compassion and support on this site than in most communities out on the streets...............and we're regarded as the social 'misfits'. They have no idea!!!!

To reiterate something mia0621 mentioned - your dad would want you to be there for your family, as he was for you.

Who better to keep the good times and his memory alive than the daughter who loved him so much!

Take care
Magz
XXXXXX

[fran43]

Thanks to everyone for their kind and supportive words.

I do get many days when life gets too much. I know I have a mum but I have never got on with her because of the abuse. She also told me that she was divorcing my dad a week before he suddenly when into hospital.

She did the same on holiday two years ago. She told me that she was divorcing him but she had not told him.

Considering she lives not far from us, she has never made the effort to know her grandchildren. I find that sad.

I know my 18yr old daughter is very young to have a baby (the baby is due on 22nd December, my son's birthday on 29th December. My dad died 19 December. I would like to think I will be a good nan (I wish I was a little older but our 10yr old thinks it cool to be a Uncle at ten!).

I am a waiting list of bereavement counselling and hopefully that will happen sooner rather than later. I know it is going to open wounds and try to knock down the brick wall I have created. I know I look at death so different and then start worrying about everyone else who I am close to and feel like my mind races.

As I have posted before I am dealing with recovery from anorexia and addiction to tranquillisers. So all of these issues are very powerful on behaviour, both physically and mentally.

I have eight days left in the USA and in many ways am looking forward to returning home. I have done little but theme parks and had rest days that are not restful. I feel the real work can begin once I get to the UK but have to deal with four flights and flying causes PA's big time.

Once again, thank you for replying to my post. I really appreciate it and it is well received. I know I have posted "free thought" but I have just come back from queues, feeling unreal and over anxious and 9 hours at a theme park and I am beat!

Take care of yourself and each other.

Fran XX

[alisongates]

hi there,
I lost ,my dad over 2 years ago. there isn't a day that goes past that i dont think of him in some way. I loved him dearly, when he was dying i could not go into the room, i find it hard to forgive myself for that. I just sat outside and put some fairies with him to protect him on his journey. I can only wish and hope that he is free of pain and happy now and smiling down on me, just as im sure as your dad is for you and looking after you from afar.
kind thought s and hugs x

[jackie]

fran you are right you were so lucky to be chosen by such a wonderful dad and nothing i can say can make this loss seem less.

be glad that you had him and your memories of him are so great

you are blessed by him, he would not want you to jion him, but to live as he did, every day is a blessing

take care and loook at your memories not the memories of his blood daughters. he chose you and loved you when he did not have to. that makes you special does it not?

jackie