not wanting to go out

[brink]

how many people do not want to leave the house and how do you make your self when you have made a few attempts and feel like you want to die i am really struggerling

ian brinkler

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Brink

I never want to leave my house, but from experience I now wish I had never given into the fears and feelings.

I know a very long time ago when I had this problem back in the 1986 I had to fight the fear, since having this now for nearly five years I am still working on it, and although I dont venture far or often I know it is possible and you must not let it win.

This is just a feeling as i am sure you have been told many times so dont give into it



Sue with 5
xx

scknight

[den64]

Hi Ian,

I know just how you feel, it is frightening thoughts that are stopping you, try doing a relaxation tape before you attempt youre journey, dont put added pressure on yourself by saying ive got to do this, that doesnt help, tell yourself you are going to try today and if you dont do the full journey (even if its going to the corner of youre road) dont be disappointed as you have at least attempted it, you may have gotten half way and had to turn back, it doesnt matter youve tried it, youve got further than you thought you would, so thats got to be a good thing. Have you got a friend you could ask for help just to start you off, if not have you got a mobile you could use, if you get anxious you could phone someone (me if you want lol) try using an i-pod or anything like that it distracts you from youre thoughts, but use songs that you know as that way you sing in youre mind to them which stops you from thinking negatively,whereas if you dont know the words to songs youre more likely to let youre mind wander(do you know what i mean) i hope this helps you, also have you tried any sort of councelling, ask youre doctor if he can get help for you there are lots of things around today to help you

Take Care

Denise

[Piglet]

Start with standing on the doorstep several times a day until that feels easy peasy. Then move into the garden a few times a day staying as long as you feel comfortable and then onto the street and so on and so on.

Even if you can't manage a journey out or even off the doorstep for weeks it doesnt matter - don't give yourself a time limit but do try and practice just a tiny bit each day then it doesnt seem too huge the next time.

I'm sort of getting to the end of my street at the moment (and much further on good days) - it's taken a while but its coming.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[twiglet]

Hi ian
just take it one step at the time, try not to pressure yourself to much. even if you can just stand in the doorway its a big step forward. dont give up and dont give in to your fears. you will be ok and before you know it you can go where ever you want. i find it very hard to go out but slowly i can go to certain places without feeling scared and anxious. dont worry, it may take a while but you'll get there in the end.
take care.
love,
twiglet xx

[dawnym]

Hi Ian
I so know how you feel,as soon as my partner used to leave I would lock the doors and close blinds and curtains.I started by opening them every other day when Id got okay with that it was unlocking the door then opening it slightly,now I can go out into the back garden and peg washing out.My next goal is the front garden.
Try a little at a time and if you have a day where you cant just think I will tomorrow.
I long for the day I can go shopping.
love Dawn xxx

[Coni]

Hi Ian,

I was like you last year when I was at my lowest. Like Dawn I couldnt wait for everyone to leave in the morning so I could close the blinds lock the doors and hide away....I couldnt even go into the garden to hang the washing out, and I didnt go out unless my husband was with me or I absolutely had to. Be kind to yourself and just take small steps at a time, you will have good days and bad (thats life unfortunately) but you will make progress. personally I found medication and counselling helped get me to the point where I could start to face things, but I know everyones different where meds are concerned and that might not be for you.

Good luck and take care

Coni X

[sheena]

Hi Ian

Like others on this forum I know how you are feeling. I spent 3 years afraid to go out. Then gradually I'd start to go to the shops with my daughter and walk our dogs.

However, I would get annoyed with myself because I could not clean my front door or sweep the leaves in my driveway.

I had an awful phobia that I would not be able to get back in the house. So someone advised to to have key turning sessions. This helped. I started going out to the corner shop to get a newspaper. Some weeks I might only be able to manage once a week. But I perserved and now I go every morning.

This week I started to walk one of our dogs (I can't manage the two together and the staff won't walk on his own; he just lies down and won't get up again). I can managed about 3/4 up a road and can't seem to go any further but I keep trying.

There is hope. I, like you are feeling now, thought that I would be unable to get out of my house. Now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't dispair as you can see we are all making baby steps with our progress. Hugs.

SHEENA

[W.I.F.T.S.]

My routine used to be drop my fiancee off at work and then come back home and stop in my room on the computer with the curtains shut all morning until it was time for me to leave for my 2-10 shift. After a while I realised how unhealthy it was and instead started going to the gym after I'd dropped my mrs off and then just having a couple of hours at home. Ideally, I'd like to do different activities each morning such as golf, music lessons, yoga....

I do know exactly what you mean and recently I've been getting really bad anticipatory anxiety just before I have to go to work. The problem that I've had is that not only do I not want to go out, but I don't want to stop in either!

I've been driving to work and I've felt horrendous, but I've said to myself 'If I can't do this I might as well stop at home and never go out'. It does feel horrible, but you always get through it and then, a little later on, it doesn't even seem to bother you too much.

Panic, anxiety, depression is a bully. You can keep taking it or you can stick up for yourself and when you do that you realise that, like all bullies, anxiety is actually a coward itself and it soon backs off. Keep doing as much as you can and it will get easier. It won't happen quickly (and I'm not totally there myself), but I'm much better than I was.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Joanna crichton]

i know how u feel i feel the same am jus startin to go out more but i feel lik i cnt go to town or anythin a dno wot to do a bin to doctors nd got tablets but dnt wan to rely on them all ma life xxx

Joanna