pushed myself to go to first works meal!

[busybee09]

Usually i have always had excuses for my works meal but this is a new job and i thought ok come on just go!

It was oooookay, i think i just have to accept im not a big talker. I did talk sometimes and i did laugh along.

Anyone else that doesnt talk much n finds it hard to reply in a big group of people?

[natsphantom]

Hi nuttynat.

Your not alone. Im much the same. I work in a customer service agency and i find it difficult to relpy and join in with converstions. I tend to just hide away and get on with my own work. Team building exercises are really just awful so i tend to zone out a bit. Im ok if im having to talk with one person but a big group of people just sends me into a panic. Perhaps you and me both are just happy being quiet people haha.
take care
Natasha

[busybee09]

Hi there nat

Nice reply and u sound completely like me. I also zone out when it comes to big groups and i just hope tht doesnt put people off me.
Do u enjoy your job?

Nat x

[Sparkle1984]

Usually i have always had excuses for my works meal but this is a new job and i thought ok come on just go!

It was oooookay, i think i just have to accept im not a big talker. I did talk sometimes and i did laugh along.

Anyone else that doesnt talk much n finds it hard to reply in a big group of people?

I'm shy and I find it difficult to have conversations in large groups of people. I do go to works meals most of the time though. I do talk occasionally and laugh along with the others. A few years ago (not long after I first started working) I had to accept that I'm not a big talker.

I don't like going out drinking with work colleagues though - I find it boring sitting in a pub for hours drinking, so I usually get out of that. If there's a meal or a disco involved, then I'm fine. At least with a disco I can get up and dance when I'm feeling left out of a conversation.

[Tessar]

nattynatt, what a huge achievement. I am really proud of you. Pushing yourself like that was brilliant & must have taken some courage to do. I've come to realise that it doesnt matter if you arent a big talker. In fact, sometimes quieter people can have a mystique to them that fascinates others. Babbling on all the times isnt the be all and end all we somethings think it is. All people are different, some talk more than others. Its best to be you (which I think you're finding now). I suppose if we were all talking constantly, everyone would always be trying to talk at once. Pretty good that you were able to talk sometimes... I bet your work mates were interested to hear about their new colleague. Laugh along too, so cool...
I changed jobs about 2 yrs ago & said to myself that i was just going to me "me". I wasnt going to worry about what they thought. I found that my colleagues like the real "me", they really do. They are so kind & responsive. I'd worked in stressful, bullying workplaces before so this was just amazing. yeah I think being in a big group of people it can be hard to reply. I try to remind myself sometime i dont have to be funny or waffling on all the time. Since realising these things i think i do much better when i'm out there. we had a lunch provided by our bosses in the office recently. i suddenly found myself talking about my wedding anniversary in front of everyone. it was like "eek", but then i just thought, their listening and their intersted. it made me feel rather good that i was able to do it. you'll probably also find that many of the confident appearing people are just the same really.

[Tyke]

I think so much depends on what your colleagues are like. If they are a nice bunch it does make it a bit easier. Personally I prefer a pint after work rather than a meal as I feel I can leave whenever I want as it is much more informal. I hate works christmas events, always have done. I usually avoid them altogether if I can. I think Tessar has the right idea. Just be yourself and don't try to be something you are not. People respect you for being honest. Many confident people are really just well practiced at being themsleves and can still have similar anxieties to us as Tessar rightly points out.

Tyke

Tyke