Feeling awful.....

[Rls1994]

I'm at wits end yet again but this time it's worse..

I feel unloved, I feel ill, I can't eat, I can't sleep, got horrifying stomach aches and feeling nauseous which I'm panicing over. It feels like everything I eat or drink gets sent straight back up, adding to the nausea. It's driving me insane.

I'm starting to think I will never get better.. I've been to the doctors countless times and it seems I'm not taken seriously enough. I don't know what to do.. I'm having suicidal thoughts again and my Mum is extremely concerned. I have a doctors appointment again on Monday, but what should I say?... I've already explained everything that is wrong with me. Even the suicidal thoughts. They have contacted a psychiatrist to see me, and said it could take about 2 weeks. (This was over a month and a half ago now and I haven't heard anything back yet..)

I say to myself everyday now 'what is the point in living when you have no purpose in life?' I don't work, have no friends, at home nearly all day, have no motivation, have no self esteem, cleary have no future. The doctors once asked me what is stopping me from suiciding. I replied with 'I do not want to hurt my family and see them as depressed as I was if I go'
If I did not have my loving family, I would have gone ages ago.

I don't know what to do, I can't cope with this anymore....

[Annie0904]

I have been exactly where you are with these feelings and I know at the moment it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel but there is. If you haven't heard anything back from your referral I think you should go back to your doctor and tell him you need to be seen soon. sending you hugs

[Kez_miller]

I know this feeling oh too we'll buy then I read a quote from one Albert Einstein it says "no problem can be solved with the same consciousness that created it" think about that quite! It's easier said than done when ur stuck in a rut BUT replaying positive thoughts and happy times over and over in your mind really help! Just by sitting up straight puffing out your chest and taking a deep breath whilst telling yourself that nothing can harm you and that you accept how u feel will go a long way in your recovery! Hope u get things sorted but please take my advice! :-) xx

[Rls1994]

Thank you Annie and Kieran.

I'm feeling a little better, but still can't sleep on nights. I'm glad I'm seeing the doctor again on Monday, I will mention about the psychiatrist referral.

[Emphyrio]

Hello,
I think all of us have those 'things will never get better' moments from time to time - I certainly did in the spring/early summer - I thought I would never be in control again. But things do improve - often by themselves, but little things do help. Have you tried things like going for a walk? Taking b-vits/fish oil?

The times I felt most bad seemed to be the times when I had no direction in life. What about joining some clubs/activities or doing volunteering? You'll get to know people and it will get you out the house

But when you see your doctor, emphasise the suicidal thoughts - he/she will get help for you quicker if you emphasise just how bad things are. If you don't like the response a GP gives you - make an appointment with another one.

As for the sleep issue - try a cup of something calming like chamomile or valerian tea before you sleep. They're mild sedatives but they won't make you groggy/overly fatigued - in fact I just had a valerian tea and I now feel quite chilled out!

Best wishes - feel free to send me a PM if you'd like any more suggestions.

[Rls1994]

Hiya Emphyrio!

Hmm, I'm usually the person to do long walks everyday, but in the past week or so I've lost motivation to do so. I'm assuming the loss of motivation is due to depression.

I remember my old councillor referred me to a club in my area which I thought I'd give a try. But since I'm socially awkward around people I got extremely uncomfortable after the first day of being there, so I did not go back after. Ugh, I wish I did not have social anxiety.

Great idea with emphasising the suicidal thoughts! My Mum told me to exaggerate the situation a bit as well for the same reason you said - to get seen quicker. I will certainly do that on Monday when I see my doctor again. I remember my doctor saying she was rather concerned with me, so she sees me every 3 weeks now to see how I am doing.

I will most definitely try some of that valerian tea tonight before I go to bed, thank you.

[happydylbob]

Hello Alisa
Do you have anything to distract your mind? Clubs and stuff are great but I also am not the most social flower but I love photography and can become totally absorbed in creating and editing pictures.
I started a degree last year which is when I started to feel better as I has something else to focus on other than my worries, although I get stressed with my workload it is a different kind of stress and there is a reward at the end it is not meaningless.
Maybe you just need to find your thing whatever that may be.
Good luck it's out there somewhere

[Rls1994]

Hiya happy!

I guess I do have some things I can do to distract myself from all my worries. I like to animate on my computer, draw stuff, play games and go for walks. I definitely find that distracting myself helps a lot and eases a lot of my physical symptoms due to anxiety/depression as well. Thing is, sometimes I can't even distract myself and no matter what I do, it's still there. It's frustrating.

Thank you for the help.

[happydylbob]

Animating and drawing sounds good why not set yourself a project or task, make up a story or draw something or someone you see on your walks. Or even come up with an idea for a game. Maybe we could swap ideas I could show you some of my pics.
Being depressed and unmotivated is a vicious circle you just need something to break the cycle or even just put a bit of a kink in it to start. You need to give the old grey matter something else to focus on.
I'm on here if you want to talk

[Rls1994]

Great idea! I've started to work on something simple now, am going to work on it whenever I feel awful as it seems to make me feel better afterwards. I'm glad there are things I can do to make me feel better or God knows what I would have done.

Thank you for the reply.