Relationship OCD....

[HunniBee]

Hi All,

I am an OCD sufferer as it is but I didn't know that there is such a thing as relationship OCD until recently.

I find myself in a position where I can really like someone & we get on so well & enjoy each others company but then I start getting all these anxious horrible feelings that I need to run away from & consequently end the relationship and hurt the other person. I've done it in my past relationships where they have lasted anything from months to years but lately it's gotten more frequent & it only seems to last weeks if that. I cannot give the person reason as to why I end it as I don't have one!

Could anybody shed any light on this or help? I would be most grateful

Thanks

HB x

[Daisy Sue]

hi HunniBee... i 'think' i've been on the receiving end of this... been badly hurt when a close friend suddenly dropped me, and forced one other person who they had control over, to do the same. no reason, no logic... and absolutely no trace of emotion on their part. all i could think of at the time was, i got too close to 'their' person.. which in the normal world sounds crazy, but in the world of anxiety and OCD, anything can be both crazy and normal at the same time.

if you feel it, then your feelings are real, no matter whether they've got reasons behind them or not.

i don't suffer from OCD, well i don't think so although i do have some routine stuff, but i do know that anxiety can send us focussing on one thing or another for some random or specific reason, and if your focus is on relationships and they make you anxious, it's nothing to be ashamed about - it's just the way yours takes you.

however, like all anxiety problems, i am sure there is a way forward... either through meds or therapy, or both.

are you getting any help for your OCD?

[HunniBee]

Thank you Daisy Sue

Sorry to hear about your situation....some people can just be plain mean :(

I know all feelings are real but I just don't know why on every single relationship even if the person is perfect for me I run away....I have had the odd bad boyfriend where it was perfectly logical to end it but why the good ones? I want to settle down & have a family & it seems at this rate I never will :( I've just started seeing someone new & I don't want this to happen again.

I am taking meds for depression as it is but my doc wants to see me at the end of January & has suggested some CBT/counselling as my OCD was getting a bit crazy & making my depression worse.

It's worth a try though....

HB x

[Daisy Sue]

i'm past the stage where i think they were deliberately mean to me.. looking back i can see there were signs of quite profound emotional & mental health problems, so i've forgiven...

i'd definitely say give CBT a really good go, it was life-changing for me

[HunniBee]

Thanks again

I think I may very well do, I want my life to be a happy one not one where I am constantly over analysing everything & running away from everything.

Did it really work that well for you?

HB X

[Daisy Sue]

yes, it turned me around... i lived in a fog of panic attacks and anxiety, felt so ill and lost, and scared stiff.. my CBT guy used to come to my house every week, and the first few weeks i wouldn't believe it was 'only' anxiety... after that, i accepted it was, accepted his help, and now years later i still use his advice as a kind of mantra when i feel panic lurking.

[HunniBee]

I'm a very stubborn person so fingers crossed it will work or at least help! Don't get me wrong I have good days & I have very good days but the bad days are always that little bit worse....I'm not saying every day has to be rosy but maybe a little ray of sunshine would be good

HB x