2013 Agoraphobia Thread

[sandramick]

the lovely thing about this site is that u realise u are not alone i have just been offered the job that i went for
i am so scared it rediculous i start mothers day so have 2 weeks to get myself into a right state !!
i still can not do supermarkets or walk through the town how on earth i going to work i dont no .... but i no in my heart that i have to do it
as wren says being around people is the way forward
pinkel like u i have the spent too many years letting these feelings rule my life i am 44 now it has to stop .
i think the idea of setting small goals an helping each other is brill .
good luck all
sandra xx

[Rain]

Huge Congratulations Sandra! Well Done!

[Pinktel]

what great news Sandra - that's a confidence booster right there! One way or another you will cope with it, there are so many applicants for every job at the moment you must have really impressed them

Setting small goals, first steps, that is the ONLY way to go in my opinion. Because there is a massive cycle of lost confidence that works in exactly the same way as the cycle of fear. You fail at completing a task, your confidence gets knocked, you feel rubbish, you don't feel up to completing the next task, you fail at completing the next task, you feel more rubbish etc etc etc...

[fishman65]

Congratulations Sandra that's brilliant

[Pinktel]

Something just occurred to me as I am lying here unable to sleep at 4.30 am (horrid head cold), and apologies is its blindingly obvious to some of you, but here is something I realise is becoming an important tool for me in battling agoraphobic feelings...

The old chestnut "don't think of a white bear" then of course everyone cant help but think of a white bear. I think that has a name, where the brain hates dealing with being told NOT to do something.

For me it's the same when I go out and say to myself "don't panic". I used to put so much effort and thought into NOT panicking at any cost (because obviously it is SO horrid) that actually it makes it 100 times worse.

cBT is giving myself permission to panic and psychologically that is such a help to me. It doesn't necessarily change my symptoms when I do panic, but they are becoming more infrequent and less prolonged due tO CBT allowing me to practise panic on my terms. In a weird way I almost feel at times I am beginning to take ownership of the panic, having the attacks under my terms more.

Just that small psychological freedom of changing my attitude and saying to myself "I CAN panic" takes an enormous pressure away from myself and my brain.

This for me is another way of breaking my agoraphobia into crumbs! that is my birds and bread analogy if I wanted a sparrow to eat a loaf of bread I wouldn't just chuck him a whole unsliced loaf and tell him to get on with it, I break it into crumbs and feed it bit by bit. That is how I am tackling my agoraphobic feelings. Breaking them down into manageable chunks.

Hope my early morning rumblings are making sense, that's enough thinking, will try to get a bit more sleep before school run hope everyone else is sleeping soundly

[little wren]

So pleased for your sandra well done x

---------- Post added at 07:50 ---------- Previous post was at 07:44 ----------

Pinktel - yes it is like being told not to think of the pink elephant in the room and low and behold what do you think about lol! I am still on my reading. One of the interesting things was 'go towards your anxiety' a bit like the elephant/bear thing - fighting tooth and nail to get away from anxiety makes it worse - prolongs it. I guess by trying so hard to get away from anxiety all we do is focus even more on it. x

[Alabasterlyn]

Congrats on the job Sandra, hope it goes well for you

[sandramick]

thanks all
i have just made myself drive into town and walk down the high street even managed two shops !!
so chuffed with myself
i can do this
if i can u all can too

just quick question do any of u ladys find your hormones make u worse ?
i am on my good week so hoping i can keep things going when they kick back in again .
sandra xx

[Pinktel]

nice one sandra! just don't start spending your earnings before you've got them

[flossie]

Congratulations Sandra.
Hormones have played havoc with my anxiety over the years.