Does it ever end? C scare

[justice38]

More depressed than panicked right now but feel it coming on. I was having so many good days. I probably had close to two weeks with very little stomach issues and now all of the sudden they are back.

If I eat my stomach gets upset I'm gassy but cannot make it come out. My doctor tried to schedule me for a colonoscopy a week ago but I had started feeling good so I cancelled that was probably a stupid thing to do. Has anyone else on here self diagnosed and continues to worry because they didn't get tested?
I had a total panic attack when I thought about going in for a colonoscopy. Is this crazy? I feel like I'm just marking time not really living. I don't know what to do. Scared its the big C
Please help

[Miela]

I'm right there with you. GI says I don't need a colonoscopy, GPs think I don't need one but I really want one to put my mind at rest but then freaking out b/c of the colonoscopy horror stories I hear of people being in excruciating pain but too drugged out to say anything or being pinned down until finished. I desperately want one but I'd rather be knocked out and I know that comes with risks also.

I'm refusing to go for a colonoscopy out of fear but at the same time, I'm consumed with fears of BC. I have daily panic attacks about it. Just when I think i'm in the IBS clear, I see something in my stool that freaks me out or go toilet for the 5th time in a day and am planning my funeral. I've cried over this and panicked so much that i've driven my family crazy. They are partly the reason I've avoided going for a colonoscopy - I've had 2 scopes in the last year (endoscope and hysterscope) so adding this to the mix makes them think i'm a basket case. I can't really have a colonoscopy without telling them either, as I'll need a day at home sitting on the toilet for the prep and a family member to take me home after the procedure. So i'm stuck in this mentally torturous place of wanting to put my own mind at rest but avoid my family knowing i'm having a procedure, PLUS fearing the actual procedure itself. LOL

I'm just in a complete mess so I sympathise with you greatly. Shall we both do our colonoscopies and get it out the way? We can go together lol. But once that is out of the way, will we find something else to worry over? It's just a vicious cycle. IBS and anxiety are so linked together.

My gut instinct tells me however that you don't have the Big C. I reckon you're another classic IBSer. You'll have good days and weeks and think you're out of the woods, and then a little something will trigger your IBS and your back with all the annoying symptoms again.

[justice38]

Thanks for the reply. If I have to get a colonoscopy I would gladly go with you so we could get it together but I'm still holding out although I have had my wife and my brother tell me I need to get one. They both know me well and realize that until I hear I'm okay this will probabaly bother me. I'm sure that once I was given the all clear I would find something else.