Stressed after Gynae appointment

[Sallyg]

Hello, I have had some really useful rational advice regarding some concerns I have had in the last few months. Now I am looking for some understanding at how stressed and upset I am after going to a scheduled appointment at the Gynae clinic this morning.

My anxiety issues have become difficult in the last 18months, I completed a course of CBT and am doing well applying it. I am challenged by situations that are uncertain and living with uncertainty is hard for me.

I have a cervical polyp with no symptoms, I decided to go ahead and have it removed, the reasons given were that it could get larger and cause symptoms and they also check for cell abnormalities (very rare) I was given a textbook example of the procedure.

I was doing well putting positive thoughts that this time, it would all go smoothly into my head and also realising nothing is certain. Well, I arrived and the GP (I have since found out it wasnt a consultant, a GP who runs a gynae clinic) asked me questions and said my referral letter from my own GP suggested the polyp was small enough to remove simply there and then.. She was very reassuring about the procedure etc. I told her I have had some problems with internals as I have a tilted uterus and sometimes have to move position (sorry if TMI).

The pain was awful when she put the speculum in, really, nothing short of unbearable (I have had this before but 2 months ago when my GP checked it was painfree). Anyway, she continued and I tried to breathe through it, she didn't offer what to do etc, anyway at the same time as me saying 'enough' she said the polyp was too large to remove there.

I could and would have done anything to get it over and done with and can't believe my luck and now my mind is going into overdrive thinking there must be a problem and there will be when I try the next time. I will be reffered to the hospital gynae department now with a wait of another 8 weeks.

The reason was because she said larger polyps can sometimes bleed and they don't have the means to stem that in the clinic and the hospital do. I feel like it really is just normal and OK and no big deal, however with my anxiety issues I am feeling upset and worried all over again. Is the fact its grown a concern? Is the potential bleeding a concern?

After spending the past 8 weeks working on rationalising and balancing my thoughts with a set of information, I feel I am starting out on another 8 weeks of worry and trying to contain it. They keep telling me this is a simple and problem free situation, but it appears not to be for me and although I am sure it's nothing serious, it's the fact I am trying to convince myself things work out ok and are simple, when in reality it isn't.

Grateful for the opportunity to write here, I am concerned this will set me back with managing my anxiety. It is a challenging area for me, asking for help, to be cared for and trusting. I just wish this could be sorted without all these steps, GP's passing me onto the next person. Makes me think its serious and complicated.

[Annie0904]

I don't think you have anything to worry about, they sometimes do get larger and I can imagine more difficult to remove in those circumstances as they do bleed. I have had 2 removed from my uterus. It is just a shame that you had t go through all that pain this morning and no further forward.

[Sallyg]

Thanks Annie - I feel really dissapointed and will try not to worry. I am just concerned about what will happen at the next appointment! I don't want a general anesthetic or anything, i asked the GP today and she said, oh no that won't happen. Sure hope not, because if they can't get me comfortable with the speculum in place, then they can't do it - I need to relax for that to happen! Such a viscious cycle :(

[Annie0904]

They may be able to give you something to sedate you or if you discuss it with them before you may be able to take some diazepam to relax you. I took diazepam when I had a hysteroscopy.

[Sallyg]

Funny you should mention that, I just decided to go and see my GP and ask her about that. I really don't want to have to go through it again due to 'my' inability to handle the discomfort, so maybe this is the answer. I haven't taken any drugs like that before - do they just last for a few hours and make you feel calm?

[Annie0904]

Yes they last up to 4 hours and make you more relaxed and calm.

[Lilharry]

Hi Sally. So sorry you are going through this. I am going through some health issues at the moment too and really understand how hard it is not to worry! It doesn't sound to me like there is anything for you to worry about, not that that stops our overactive minds! This won't set you back - that's just another negative worry thought you're having. It's normal to be anxious about procedures. Just keep telling yourself that you will get through it and you will come out stronger because of it. I have been practicing telling my negative thoughts to leave me alone because they're not being helpful - it works a lot of the time, but I do still have down days. Just keep practicing putting those thoughts in their rightful place.

[Sallyg]

Hi Sally. So sorry you are going through this. I am going through some health issues at the moment too and really understand how hard it is not to worry! It doesn't sound to me like there is anything for you to worry about, not that that stops our overactive minds! This won't set you back - that's just another negative worry thought you're having. It's normal to be anxious about procedures. Just keep telling yourself that you will get through it and you will come out stronger because of it. I have been practicing telling my negative thoughts to leave me alone because they're not being helpful - it works a lot of the time, but I do still have down days. Just keep practicing putting those thoughts in their rightful place.

Thank you for your kind post. It really is very hard not to worry, even though I realise that worry doesn't help It is also hard for me to draw the line as to when there is a real problem that warrants worry or not. This is why this problem seems so hard to handle - it is somwhere in the middle. Because they need to remove the polyp, it has suggested to my brain that there is indeed a problem that needs solving - which is true but not really to the extent I am thinking. Phew...it's madness really haha

CBT has worked for me in great ways, I am trying hard to do as you suggest and put the negative thoughts to the side, allow uncertainty because that is normal and real (I won't know the outcome of the next appointment) and put that aside and focus on the actions taken - I have an appointment. The theory is that I just forget about it!

I guess practice makes perfect - wishing you well with your own challenge to balance the thoughts and make like a little less stressfull

[Sallyg]

Hello - I need some support, my mind has gone into overdrive feeling I am waiting for bad news!

The good part of this update is that I had my cervical polyp removed yesterday. I had to wait 2 months for another routine appointment at the hospital after the last one referred me on.

I was very scared but completely amazed at quite how well I handled it all - not even a hint of full blown panic and the hospital was hot and the rooms in the basement with no windows! Plus the consultant said before examining me that I might need a general anaesthetic or local if the polyp was indeed large enough to bleed a lot.

The consultant and nurse were extremely kind, talked me through it all, it did take a little longer than expected but it was removed with no aneasthetic, she said it was cyst like and burst when she took a look, so it wasn't that big in reality and she could simply remove it. I had some silver nitrate to stop the bleeding.

Even though she said 99.9% are benign today I cannot stop thinking that I have cancer - I feel completely convinced. I was very emotional last night, realising how much worry I have had over the last few years (after some very real and stressful events) but now my mind is worrying over everything and can't seem to convince myself to just wait and see and think positive - 2-3 weeks for results.

I really did overcome my fear yesterday which was great but I can't stop going around in my head that maybe I have missed some symptom and there is a chance of cancer which will be my fault but then my mind weighs it up and says don't be silly, nothing to suggest it!

This polyp has been there a while, my smear test was 2 1/2 yrs ago and at the beginning of this year I had some strange periods. My rational mind says these were one offs as it has all gone back to normal - I was getting long light periods with a stop start quality - the cycle lengths were the same as usual and no bleeding inbetween as such. The last 2 cycles were alsmot back to normal, lighter maybe but 3/4 days long. Can period patterns like this be a sign of a problem?

I guess I have been spooked by waiting so long for this procedure and the amount of fear I had to overcome to have it done. Any support would be really helpful - I just cant help feeling it will be me with another challenge :( That all the reassurance of the unlikliness of this being true still not helping - you see both my parents died unexpectedly and unpredictably, my sister has been through 5 miscarriages and had a baby with down syndrome - I am so used to the unexpected I think I feel like it is inevitable.

I don't want to feel like this as it is wasting precious enjoyment but today I really am struggling - I wonder if it's just the emotional after effects of yesterday

[Annie0904]

You must take reassurance from your consultant on this and they would know if it was anything more serious. Benign cervical polyps are common and the good thing is you have had it removed now. Well done for coping with it so well!