Today I have an appointment with GP #3. The first GP was lovely, but only part time. GP #2 has been dealing with me for most of this GAD episode, but is the most closed-minded doctor I've ever met. GP #3 has a bit of a reputation in the community as having the most amazing mood swings. Hopefully I'll get her in a good mood.

My sick certificate expires at the end of this week, and I rather suspect my Headteacher will want me straight back in to class, teaching full time. Unfortunately for her, I have an Occupational Health review on the other side of the county next week, which could trump her plans. The last Occy Health appointment said I'd be off until the end of May, so I'm hoping she's not seen the discrepancy in dates, and is assuming I intend to renew my certificate.

As for how I feel now, I'm struggling to put it into words, which is where I hope you lot will come in and help me out. Definitely don't want to become a blubbering mess with the new GP if she's in one of her no-nonsense moods. I obviously need the sick certificate renewed to cover at least my Occy Health appointment, plus a few days for the report to come through. I had a horrific set back last week, where being left in charge of a group of kids at my dance/gym group wound up with me losing it completely. I am not ready to be in charge of kids yet. However, I do feel better. For once, I'm liking myself. How daft does that sound? I'm working hard on my CBT4Panic, and I know having more time for me is having an effect on my other health conditions. As an example, I haven't touched my asthma inhaler the whole time I've been off sick, and I've been walking my dog for double the amount I used to, dragging the poor thing up hills and jogging down the high street.

I feel like I need a plan of what to say and ask for. I cannot be off work forever, both financially and morally. Normally I love teaching, it's just that this year's class have been too much for me (And their 3 previous teachers, who all resigned or quit before finishing the year), and I had no help from anyone. Throwing me back in with them full time is going to wind up with the same outcome. What can I suggest to the GP, and the Occy Health team next Monday?