told off by dr and feeling quite upset

[eastofeden]

well i just came back from a doctor's appointment and got hounded for 'wasting the nhs's time' and 'being so self absorbed and living in my own selfish little universe'. i was 3 minutes late and he told me this was a sign of my innate selfishness and that i had 'completely lost the plot' all his own words. he told me CBT is the only way to go from here and basically never to bother him again. he had this smirk on his face as he was telling me this and reminding me of how bad a person i am while i'm just thinking 'well, what difference does this make to your paycheck at the end of the day?'

i burst into tears after coming out of that office and the reason it upset me so much is because i know it's true and that health anxiety is a sign of being too self absorbed but i really can't help it. i don't believe it is anybody's fault if they suffer from anxiety or depression and i don't think it is fair to reprimand them and put them down even more when they are feeling so hopeless and like a waste of space already without being reminded of it. unfortunately i have seen this happen with many of my friends and family. mental health seems to be the nhs's serious blind spot. what's the point in giving a suicidal person a counselling appointment in 8 weeks time? i'm feeling so alone now. i literally feel like a piece of sh*t and that lecture just made me even worse.

i just turned 20 today and am still in pain. i thinki might just take some cocodamol and go to sleep and wake up when it's all over.

if he knows i need a referral to a mental health facility i don't understand why he had to be so condescending and rude when he knows i'm at a very uneasy place right now. if he believes i have a mental health problem then why is he giving me such obvious advice in such a mean manner? doesn't he think i already hate myself enough without him adding fuel to the fire?

i totally brought this on myself.

[Darbysa]

Hi there and happy birthday to you

First of all let me beg you to please not take those cocodamol. It's really not the answer. Do you really feel like harming yourself? If that's so then you need to consider some help. Is there anyone you can talk to? I really feel for you. You have had a rough day and on your birthday too.
If you are just feeling down because of your experience at the doctors then I can well understand that. There is no excuse for speaking to you like that. Looking at some of your previous posts you clearly have had some health problems which must be hard for someone as young as you are.
Are you going to take up the offer of CBT? I think it would help you to talk about this. Stop thinking that this is all your fault. It isn't.
What do you do? Do you work or study? What about friends and family? Being on your own gives you time to dwell on your anxieties.
I do hope your day gets better and you can put this behind you. Please try and stay positive.
Take care
Sal x

[nomorepanic]

Hi there

Happy Birthday

If he really did say those things to you then you need to make a formal complaint about him as that is unacceptable.

[eastofeden]

Thank you both very much for understanding. I'm going to try and stay positive and not let this man ruin my day. I just can't get the way he was looking at me while he was saying all this. his tone was so gruff and patronising and his face just had this total smirky arrogance like 'look at me, I'm making 90k a year and look at you, you're a hypochondriac that can't even get your act together and turn up for an appointment on time.' as I walked in I apologised over and over for being late and at the end he said 'you should have apologised as soon as you came in that door, because you're lucky I even bothered to see you.' i think what's really bothering me is that this incident almost made relapse back into self harm/cutting and that's a very personal issue that hits home with me.

all while he kept repeating how selfish I am and how I need to get a life (doesn't he think I already know how pathetic I am?). yeah I know I'm selfish but that isn't really his place to say, as a 50 year old man (not to be petty, but he is actually an alcoholic himself.) to a 20 year old female. I didn't ask for advice on my mental state. I asked him to advise on my physical health, not my mental health. anyway thanks again and I think I might file a complaint.

If my dad or any other adult had been in the room I doubt he would have talked to me that way. but thanks again.

the people on this forum never cease to amaze me with their level of kindness and understanding.

[Spot-the-frog]

Happy Birthday - I hope your day gets better.

I think your doctor was totally unprofessional and you should report him. In the first instance you should complain to the practice (maybe the practice manager?).

I would also change your doctor, see someone else. This is not your fault, we don't choose to be like this.

Have a lovely birthday x

[lizzie29]

I was going to say the same as the others, you should complain. That's terrible that he spoke to you like that, no wonder you're upset.

[Gotagetthroughthis]

Hey eastofeden,

So sorry to hear about you experience today at the doctors. I have had some similar issues although my doctors have never been as rude as your one was to you and I definitely think you should make some sort of complaint.

You say you are still in pain? What did you actually go to the doctors for if you don't mind me asking, was it just a general check up or did you have something specific you felt was wrong? You say he is an alcoholic, how do you know this? He should be nowhere near a doctors surgery if he is and alcoholic and is treating patients this badly.

Anyway don't let his stupid small minded comments get you down, he has no idea what your going through. Hope you feel better soon

[Edie]

I'm sorry your doctor spoke to you like this. There is no excuse for being so offensive to a patient. I would definitely see a different doctor in future, because you don't deserve to be treated this way. If you are up to a complaint, then it is worth doing to prevent anyone else being treated as badly. To make a complaint, ask the practice manager for a copy of the official complaints procedure, and make sure you follow it.

I hope the rest of your birthday went a lot better than this!

[eastofeden]

Hey eastofeden,

So sorry to hear about you experience today at the doctors. I have had some similar issues although my doctors have never been as rude as your one was to you and I definitely think you should make some sort of complaint.

You say you are still in pain? What did you actually go to the doctors for if you don't mind me asking, was it just a general check up or did you have something specific you felt was wrong? You say he is an alcoholic, how do you know this? He should be nowhere near a doctors surgery if he is and alcoholic and is treating patients this badly.

Anyway don't let his stupid small minded comments get you down, he has no idea what your going through. Hope you feel better soon

Thank you, basically I went to ask him for a blood test for dvt because my leg pain has been getting worse and last time my d dimer was elevated.

I know he's an alcoholic because my mum and his wife are good friends and she apparently left him because of his drinking problem/being violent. Also I could smell drink on his breath even at an appointment in the morning. He's basically advising patients while half cut. So maybe that's why he's so bitter lol. To be honest I didn't even know he still worked there since I haven't seen him in years. Anyway I'm feeling better thanks to everyone's support. I think everyone needs to remember that it isn't your fault if you are suffering from anxiety or depression and anyone who tries to make you feel bad can go to hell. He's just a douche and I don't even care what he thinks.

[Tessar]

I wish I had been in the room with you because I'd have given that doctor a piece of my mind on your behalf. He showed a total lack of understanding or empathy. Way is lacking I his kind is that he is too ignorant to see that an attitude like his is not only exceptionally unprofessional but also totally unproductive and likely to bring about the direct opposite to what he intends to achieve.
I am sending you hugs because I am proud of You. Having been shown no sympathy at all by a uncaring doctor... You are saying that you want to stay positive. Your friends here at NMP will all help you to do that.....!!!!

Oh, also, please dont label yourself in an unkind manner. It's not worth it, really it isn't especially since it won't help you to remain positive. Be kind to yourself because you are worth it my friend. Instead, next time you feel compelled to say something derogatory about yourself, instead, stop right there and remind yourself you a worthwhile person BECAUSE YOU ARE.

there's alot going n for you right now, but the situation can improve. I don't understand your doctor's attitude really, it is puzzling. If I were in that situation I would not want to see him again as he was disrespectful. Is there another doctor at the Surgery you can see instead?

And before I go some important things.....
- any member at nmp is not alone, you are in the right place as this is a friendly and supportive community full of lovely people who will be keen to help you.
- keep busy. Even on days when you feel lethargic, it will pay you to get stuck into something. That helps me alot & it does help me feel better.

Lastly and most importantly.....

++++++ HAPPY BIRTHDAY EAST OF EDEN ++++++





++++++ HAPPY BIRTHDAY EAST OF EDEN ++++++