IS the universe merciful?

[shalom]

For me at this stage of life, general fears and acute panic most often grow from financial worries, no matter how hard I work, on top of trying to be Father Knows Best, and no matter how hard I try, one contradicts the other, at least time-wise. I can never work enough, I can never "be there" enough for them (I have 7 at home).

So, here we are in Hi-Story, once again it's become acceptable, feasible, even fashionable for "enlightened," intelligent, educated, people to believe in Something greater than themselves and what they can perceive or conceive. I have tried for years to give up what was available when I originally came on to the scene, the previous mode of fatalism, existential crises and atheism, and to open myself to other possibilities.

From many directions I'm told that my fears, though real, are ultimately groundless. Whether it's my religion, the Recovery Groups, modern "wisdom literature," and also in the comfort offered on this forum, I am told that The Universe, God, Higher Power, whatever, is merciful, that it will all work out for the best, that this life is a compassionate educational experience, and if I only "surrender," hang on until I can let go, fall backwards blindly into the arms of an ever-present, all-caring, all-merciful Whatever which is only waiting for me to mature to the point of learning not to instinctively freeze up or lash out or drug out in fear based on nothing but Self-Reliance... it WILL all be OK...

Well, it's hard to trust -- others, Higher Powers, the Universe -- isn't it, to have faith in Anything's ultimate compassion, or I don't think I would have gotten here.

I am told that the challenge and the lesson meant to learn in this life is to choose not to react instictively out of fear, but to turn to reliance that things will work out, if I only let them. Well, I'm more than half way through the journey, and I haven't deeply learned, don't profoundly KNOW this inevitable universal compassion to be true, or I wouldn't still be living with such fears.

So, I'm not asking for "Proofs of God 101," I've been through that already, but I am asking how a bunch of fear-freaks like you have been able to learn to rely, to trust and so, relax??? Or maybe you haven't -- maybe you've found an answer I havent heard of yet from a different quarter?
Thanks for being there, dear brothers and sisters,
your response is very welcome!
Shalom

[eeyorelover]

Hi there
I don't really believe in the all will be ok in life if you just surrender view.
I am not one to really do the Proof of God 101 thing anyway so I'm not about to start now - lol
But I will tell you what my view is since you asked.
I am a non denominational Christian who believes that our time on Earth is a blink of an eye to God so to me it's not a matter of seeing His mercy or caring here on Earth. It matters more to me that I spend eternity with him.
It is hard to trust - you are right about that. Hard to trust anyone that is right in front of you much less someone who you can't physically see. That is where faith comes in. I have that faith.
You say that you have been told that the lesson to learn in this life is to choose not to react out of fear but I believe that the lesson is to act in spite of fear.
I hard lesson and one that in my case I am still working on.
xxx
Sandy

[brenda]

Hi Sandy
I to am a Christian but it doesnt seem to help when I get fear and panic attack
I would love to have the faith that some people have and to trust that everything will be ok.
If you have any tips of how to get that sort of faith and trust I would be grateful

Thanks
Pam x

[groovygranny]

Shalom!

I'm an old wrinkly christian as well as an old wrinkly granny and I have very recently learned this (because you're never too old too learn !) - Faith isn't Faith until it's all you're hanging onto!

Without my faith in God ( and the bible being the word of God thru Jesus Christ) I know for sure that I wouldn't be here now, and no it wasn't easy to trust in Him when I felt He had deserted me in the very hour of my need, but in the end it was an almighty effort of my will to keep believing He would never leave me or forsake me.

I want to be a 'spiritual fruit' and not a 'religious nut' so I have both feet firmly on the ground, but with this comes real life and all it's horrible stuff. Let's put it this way, I have a lot of questions to ask when I knock on heaven's door!

Hope I haven't prattled on too long!

I do understand how you feel shalom.

Lotsa Luv
xxx



'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[net]

my faith doesnt really help me except to give me a purpose to life and the knowledge that it wont last forever
ultimately we can only help ourselves

netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

[brenda]

Hi Groovy Granny
You can PM me if you want to chat or email me pambergirl@hotmail.com it would be nice to chat

Pam x

[shalom]

Thank you all for listening and hearing, and of course, identifying. Isn't it very helping when I'm in Fear, to know I'm not alone there and that I can scream and be heard and understood? Regardless whether that means I'll be caught when I fall blindly backwards!

Also, for myself, I wrote that first posting after a 2-day holyday here. Two whole days of being nowhere but in my head! The week's rushed on since then, and I can't help but see how just being able to be busy dissolves Fear.

And then, as far as trusting, the funny thing in my life and in that of others I've heard, looking back, most of the biggest worries and fears never materialized, anyway. I suppose that WAS/IS a case of being caught falling blindly backwards....

And then the hazy future looms once again and gives the lie to all the evidence of the past. Repeated practice in what one of you wisely called living in spite of fear, hopefully getting stronger in walking through it.

Thanks all of you for being here. You're great.
Shalom