:( hi there to everyone, I am new to this site and came across it when looking up signs of depression, stress, breakdowns etc as I feel my ex might be suffering. I am not sure? perhaps he is just insecure?
If I can give you some insight into this, I am wondering what you all think? He is 36 and when we first went out last July, he use to say that I was too good for him, that I would get bored of him and that I had a lot going for me. Throughout the relationship when it didnt go rosy at times, he would start this same saying over again. LIke he was pushing me away, wanting reassurance, direction, focus whatever it was? This push and pull from myself and him was like an emotional rollercoaster ride. It was heaven and bliss to start with, almost like a fairytale to emotionally clingy, depressing and not normal at times.
Within 8 months he was right, I did leave as I felt he was depressing me, I felt drained, low, shattered and looked skinny and washed out from it all. When I left he didnt contact except blame. Total blame, called me selfish, and basically demanded all his presents he bought me back, alongside reading my diary to look at my whereabouts which I was not impressed about. He then clocked me on website, blaming others seeing me, always blamed others all the time that was his biggest downfall.
He cried uncontrollably, again blamed me, would get angry, throw a tantrum when I didnt give in to his way and was in fact getting worse throughout the breakup, dragging me down and making me feel incredibly guity all the time throughout the 7 month split. I just couldnt pull myself together but did get better as I am today.
He met someone else, slept with her and was saying she was a rebound of course he clearly had to add in childish comments that she was a model, stunning and in fact the best looking ever, of course there was no reaction from me at all....blank look of "and?"
I told him I was moving to London now, he laughed and said well those city boys arent really for you are they? they arent really your type and really you and them are just too similiar they will do your head in (god help him whatever he means?)
The next part gets worse, he said it was me with the problem (this is in fact 7 months later by the way not so long ago when he pops over to see me in his new car which he thought I wouldnt like) and says that I wasnt happy when he was, and that my ex I dated was a nice guy, to reassure him that he is ok as well? I sit there thinking to myself, what? you arent making sense at all - he carries on to say he was totally insecure with me, bought me in the end, but reverts back to saying that he only wants to date stunners, who doesnt take him for granted.
I said well why not see someone who is nice, and just likes you for you, he bursts out laughing and says "what like you!"
I was nearly going to punch him but refrained from it instead. By this stage I have given up, he then tells me that well he has of course this new life, new car, new party of friends, likes the high life (he is quite well off) and when I mention someone I saw buying a pad in Dubai, he says right I am going on holiday there now! (oh dear?) He says I might think he is useless in bed now and that his confidence is nearly there..?
Now just as I am about to leave, he is being nice some of the time throughout our stay but he is now smoking, drinking more and looks thinner. Then as the night ends, he says when we use to play squash he deliberately let me win because he plays for the county...is he for real?
He says again he doesnt want a doormat of a girlfriend, he use to say this when we first met up and then goes on to say he likes my feisty attitude. His last comment...you will never get anyone better than me, you will only now settle for second best. When I say ok enough this is ridiculous I dont know what you are on about, and I cant go on, I am starting to get frustrated, ill and annoyed. You clearly dont know what you are saying or doing and cant commit to anything or anyone, I am off!
That was it, he called me s
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