Death of a friend

[NeilSimpson]

Im so sorry if this is going to depress anybody, and if it is, please remove this thread...

I struggle to let out my emotions anyway but as you are aware, I recently gave up alcohol, until yesterday when I found out a very good friend of mine died, his name was tom and was more like a dad to me, im 30 and he was 58, he was my darts captain, my football coach when I was playing and has always been there for me...

The day he died we was watching Indonesia v arsenal, he did his usual bringing toys round for my kids and a 8 pack of lager for himself, obviously I wasn't drinking. then my phone goes off early hours of the next morning (Monday) and hes dead,

Tickets have arrived today for our emirates cup trip that he was looking forward to and now ive just completely lost it, im in chills, crying, I just want god to give me my friend back! This is the hardest thing ive ever typed, but I bet toms looking down at me thinking, prat LOL.

Sorry if I bored anyone but this is too hard and too much, 3 deaths in 2 years.

---------- Post added at 10:36 ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 ----------

My song for you Tommy:

Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A laugh that healed the broken heart
With all that it could

Lived the life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart
With all that I could
Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible
The truth is so cold

A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find
A place in my mind
Where you can stay
You can stay away forever

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Sleep tight I'm not afraid (not afraid)
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me (place for me)
'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away

I love you, you were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you, when He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied

So far away (so close)
And I need you to know
So far away (so close)
And I need you to, need you to know

[Ccat]

Just to say- I am so very sorry to hear that Neil.
That is a beautiful tribute you've written for him.

CCat x

[Invisibletouch]

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your friend Tom. The only consolation is that the day before you had a good and happy time with him, and you will have those memories of all the times you spent together. I know that doesn't help you now and how bad the pain must be. The song for Tommy is really lovely, and im sure he knows how much you thought of him.

Thinking of you.....

[NeilSimpson]

I just want tom back, keep looking at his ticket wishing I can see his excited face, he never went to the emirates stadium, I was gonna take him for the first time

[Speranza]

So sorry for your loss. As for the match... Can you take an item of clothing he'd have worn?

[NeilSimpson]

Most of my arsenal shirts LOL he used to steal them off me often, he'd never buy one because as he said 'im the most obsessed arsenal man', silly git. I had over 30 shirts

[kittikat]

So sorry to hear that you have lost your friend. I am sure he will be looking down and thinking what a wonderful friend and a touching tribute you have written here.

Grief is such a hard and personal thing to deal with...I hope you get to the match, I am sure your friend will still want you to go....

Sending you a hug and thinking of you at this sad time Kitti

[NeilSimpson]

Thank you kittikat, no tom wouldn't be thinking that at all, he'd be thinking stop being an idiot, his wife is here with me aswell and she says thank you,

NEIL & KAREN xxx

[Speranza]

[NeilSimpson]

Just want you with me at the emirates tom... Please come back