I feel guilty for even writing this

[stay_gold]

My friend may have testicular cancer and has to go hospital to find out for sure this week, read on to find out my dilemma.

I have had enough of my mate, he has turned into a vacuous shell of a person. He is not himself around strangers, tries to act hard when he is the most sensitive person I know, overly sensitive in fact. Whenever I'm around him and his friends my anxiety goes up big time and depression kicks in for a few weeks.
They pretty much pick on me because I'm nice and they know I have anxiety, they think I'm soft cos I don't say anything back but the real reason I don't is because I know I could rip them to shreads with a single sentence. They are just as sensitive, I can tell. What makes it worse is my friend had Borderline personality disorder and can relate to the anxiety side of things. Our friendship was handing by a string as he told me a bunch of things about one of his mates, I was furious at how manipulative at how he was, a few weeks later I spoke to my friend about that guy and my mate turned it all back on me and made out that I was being OTT, and his dad said it too. I was like .
I cut off from his friend, and I could tell my mate was kinda glad about that, like it suited him better. After a while I just didn't care anymore.
He then tells me he may have cancer after getting a letter from the hospital.
We were meant to go out for drinks and he says he has no money, I was like I'll pay, then he suggests wine tasting as he knows someone who's setting it up and it's cheaper but his friend will be there and it started at 8. I said we'll go to where I said and then get to the wine tasting for 8. The next day just before I leave to meet him, he says it starts at 6. I was so angry and ended up cancelling where I wanted to go. I find out from the friend they had gone out all week to a pub and the wine tasting started at 8 anyway. Now my mate is a manipulater. I've had enough of it and I want to cut him off but if he has cancer I would feel terrible, leaving someone when they need me most but I have no interested in being friends with him anymore. He has changed too much now. I feel so bad thinking like this.
Help please!

[Stormsky]

It's not easy , but you can't be his friend just because he may have cancer..
Take that factor out of it, and if he clearly isn't a friend to you then cut him lose if that's what you feels best for you.

[Speranza]

That is brilliant advice, Stormsky.

Is your friend the kind of person who would joke or lie about that stuff? Is it even true?

I think Stormsky is right.

[stay_gold]

thanks guys, I know but if the worst was to happen, i'd feel awful. It sounds bad but I would hate myself.

[Stormsky]

Then just stay in the background as support.. Don't have to be best buddies though, just don't turn him away IF he does need you.

[stay_gold]

Yes, i think I will do that.

I'll still feel bad though

[Col]

It's not easy , but you can't be his friend just because he may have cancer..
Take that factor out of it, and if he clearly isn't a friend to you then cut him lose if that's what you feels best for you.

Soo true