Please help - agoraphobic, cant cope!

[lisa p]

Hi,

Where do I start, I dont really now, well here goes!

I am feeling so fed up and low, last week I was really ill with tonsilitis, and whilst I was lying around, I managed to have a good think about my life, and decided really for the last four years I havent had much of a life.

I really think that I am suffering from agoraphobia more than the pa's I have suffered for over 12 years at least years ago I could go out, but now its the school run, local shop and that is it.

As a family with two young children my hubby and I are desperate for a holiday, even if its 15 mins down the road, but at the moment I dont think I can manage it.

My little girl starts school in Jan and I am in tears already wondering how I am going to cope taking her to school , at the mo cause my son is 9 I just drop him at the gate and go, but when she starts I will have to leave the car and stand in the playgound, god I am so worried.

I have been to the docs, but am on a long waiting list to see a councillor, in the meantime I am left feeling very tearful and low, with yet another half term coming up, and still unable to take the kids out and about.

Please, Please, any advice would be very welcome.

Many thanks

Lisa px

[candie]

Hi Lisa,
Sorry youre feeling crap at the mo,we've all been there...
Youre not alone in feeling the way you do.Try not to worry about taking your child to school just yet,January is a really long time away and you could be feeling loads better by then.You are in a crap place right now and thats exactly where i was but you must remember that you CAN do it.You WILL take your child to school and everything will be fine,as much as you think you'll collapse at the school gates in front of everyone,YOU WONT.Its just you jumping to the worst possible conclusion,but lets face it...how often does the worst conclusion actually ever happen..?
Youve got into the habit of thinking too much about things and that can be soul destroying,trust me,but things DO get better honestly.
The only trouble is..the more you try to rid yourself of anxiety and panic the longer it lingers around.
You need to try if you can not to pay it as much attention as you are doing,easier said than done i know but does it really deserve it.?
ANXIETY HATES TO BE IGNORED so try to do just that and you will win in the end.If you cant get out anywhere try and do things at home that will distract you and give you less time to dwell on things.
I hope ive helped a little bit,if you wanna chat anytime just pm me.
Anyway,take it easy and KEEP SMILING,Candie xx

[yorkylover]

Hi Lisa and welcome.You will get some really helpful advise here,and make some new friends to.We know how your feeling so your not alone.Anxiety is horrid but we cant let it beat us!!!!!!!!!!
Take care

Ellen XX

[monty]

I know just how you feel- panic attacks were bad enough but they quickly turned into agoraphobia- which has got much worse in the past couple of weeks.

I think you're really great for doing the school run and going to the local shop! And try not to worry about having to go into the playground- I work as a TA (or shold I say used to- not able to go in at the moment) so I know what the system is like and most teachers prefer it if you don't hang around too long anyway- it just increases the child's anxiety.

And of course you may be much better by January so don't let it make you miserbale just yet! :-)

Hope you've found some of the advice here useful.

Lucy

[surreylady]

hi lisa

I know exactly how you feel, had real problems a while ago with getting my child to school because of panic, but one day my frtiend never turned up to take her so i was in at the deep end and managed it alone. took a while to be able to get into the school but started with leaving her at the gates. this will get better the more you do it and try not to worry about it beforehand, cos you will be more anxious. it is easier said than done and it takes time to be ok with it but you will do it i promise you. good luck with it

mandy xxx

positive attitude brings positive results

[NPS_Paul]

Lisa, its time to face forward and let the past go. I lost 8 years to Agoraphobia but i recovered. Oh yes i'm a father of 5, aged 13, 12, 10, 4, and 22 months. The 4 year old just started school.
I went through the taking the children to school fear, i've only been a driver for 3 years! I'm 38! I stood on my own, easier as a man to get ignored by the mothers?

Let's look clearly at recovery, which you can do and start today. Honestly. When i was surrounded by people who supported me saying i can't do it, i sat in one room scared of every noise. When i moved and my dad wouldn't take no for an answer, i changed to his doctor and things started immediatly.
So i'm telling you that you can start recovery IMMEDIATLY as you read my words. Firstly start by facing your fears mentally. Imagine going out, feel the horrible symptoms coming. Think i am winning, i'm not running away i'm thinking of my fear. I know its not easy but stop running and look the fear in the face!
If you feel able DO something you wouldn't normally do. Even if this is standing by a window, or opening the front door for 10 seconds and then slamming it. YOU WILL BE A WINNER right now TODAY.
Before people start posting replies saying it's easy for you, sorry it wasn't. I've been sick in public before getting on a bus. Left a restaurant to be sick.. but i went back in. I had the VICTORY. I've sweated through my clothes to the point of stinking just on a 5 minute walk. Felt so dizzy i nearly passed out. In fact you name a symptom and i've had it.

MY ADVICE TO ALL PHOBIC SUFFERERS READING THIS IS -

Face your fear - TODAY RIGHT NOW
Stay in the situation - WHATEVER THE FEELINGS
Repeat - REPEAT REPEAT AS MANY TIMES EVERY DAY.


Live in fear and run away. Or stand up straight, face forward and walk towards it. It can't be any worse!
I'll be here on e mail, p message, this site or the National Phobics Society site to help anyone HELP THEMSELVES. Anyone from new members to the Moderators who post the fact that they can't face their fears either. Love to all readers, Paul.

Love to all members

[MissChampers]

Hi, i've not been diagnosed with agrophobia as i've never seen a GP yet in the past 16 years i've suffered with anxiety, but I can relate to these feelings lately of being in fear of being in the company of a lot of people and feeling a wave of panic come over me. I find I start panicking when I stand in a queue of people, at the hairdressers, walking into town when it's very crowded and even when I had to sit in a meeting at work last week I felt like I had to escape. At the moment i'm not at work because I can't face anyone at the moment and only feel safe when i'm at home. I'm waiting for a phone call from the doctor today to see if he can sign me off sick as I can't get an appointment until the 1st Nov. and I can't go that long without something to calm me down. Reading everyone's messages has made me feel a bit better knowing there's other people going through the same but i'm just scared at the moment i'm going loopy.:(

"It doesn't matter who you are, it's what you do that takes you far"

[monty]

Miss champers- that is just what happened to me- it sounds like the beginnings of agoraphobia- try your best not to avoid those situations and it will get better- though I know its difficult. Hope GP is helpful

[lisa p]

Hi

Thank you all so much for the positive feed back. I am feeling a little better today, and have persuaded a hypnotist to visit me at home on Thursday, so fingers crossed.

I am really going to try and beat this, because if I do not my hubby and children will have no life, and its not fair on them.

My aim is to go to a hotel for a night before xmas, it is only a 15 min drive down the road, so I am going to try and stay strong and fight this. Will let you know how I get on with the hypnotist.

Once again thanks your replys have made me feel much better.

Take Care

Lisa px

[honeybee3939]

HI Lisa,

Great news you are feeling a little better, I myself have been seeing a hypnotist the last 3 weeks, i have learnt alot from her and really enjoyed the experience, let us know how things go on Thursday !

Love

Andrea
xxxx