breast cancer fear!!

[harrys mummy]

So we have established that my doctor thinks I have a infected duct and put me in strong antibiotics and we all know that I dont believe her and am convienced ive got breast cancer.

We we havent established is what a complete arse my husband is being! I tried to talk to him last night about how scarred I am that I have breast cancer and wont see my baby whos 18mths grow up, then it dawned on me that if I die now he wont even remember me, his reaponse, you can make a video for him then he wont forget you if that happens but it wont! Firstly he didnt say it in a caring way just a sarcastic way and second how in earth did he think that would help! I then spent the night sobbing my heart out just like I could now!

Today he said dont talk to me about your boob its rediculous and theres nothing I can say so talk to someone else!? Who!!!

Im so glad ive got you guys xx

[Munchlet]

Hey

I really think some men don't know how to deal with it and so they end up being really harsh or making insensitive or sarcastic remarks.

That's my experience with my husband anyway.

To give you an example I've finally plucked up the courage to book an eye test, I haven't had one for years and I'm terrified that they are going to tell me I have an eye melanoma or find a brain tumour or something.

I spoke to my husband about this last night and his response was "oh so this is going to be the latest thing is it?" when I said I was really worried because they can see so much from an eye test he said " well at least it will be a few more things you can cross off your list"

I just ignored it because I know he doesn't mean it, he's not worried about health and thinks I'm just overreacting so therefore he can't understand why I'm worrying about something as simple as an eye test.

I think you should be reassured that you have been the doctors and it's good news as they are trained to know what BC looks like. Hopefully the antibiotics will start to work in no time and you'll start to feel better.

take care

[harrys mummy]

Thank you for the reply,

Id just like him to be in my shoes for a week to really understand how real these fears are to us, he doesnt worry about things at all, takes everything in his stride but when I need help he just shruggs it off health realted or anything in fact!

When he said about making a video I layed there crying my eyes out going through all the things id say to harry (my little one) I felt awful, I cant imagine having to do and omg feel so awful for people that do, bloody men x

My rational brain says the docs right but my over powering irrational brain takes control and convinces me ive got breast cancer and the doc either doesnt know what shes talking about or missed something and by the time I finish the 7 day course and its no better she'll have to refer me to a specialist and it will all be too late!! Omg

Xx

[hadenough]

I could have written this myself, Im in exactly the same situation. Im getting results of blood tests tomorrow hopefully but does my hubbie understand why Im so panic stricken - no of course he doesnt! He says things like 'all this worrying isnt going to change the outcome so why do it'. I just feel so alone and I really feel for you because I know how you must feel. I have spent the last week sleeping on the sofa, not because I dont want to sleep with him but because Ive been crying myself to sleep every night and dont want him to get annoyed. Its a pity they dont have to walk in our shoes for a day and see what its like. Im thinking of you and sending much love xxx

[Fishmanpa]

First off, I'm sorry your husband is being an ass. While there are cures for many things, there are no cures for that ailment

I don't suffer from HA. I came here hoping to gain an understanding. I have heart disease and cancer in my life. I currently participate on a couple of cancer forums and there are many that post that obviously suffer from HA IMO. From that, it sparked an interest as I've always been fascinated by the human mind and what it's capable of.

Perhaps I can give you an outsiders perspective. By no means am I being disrespectful or unsympathetic to anyone that suffers from HA. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like. I only want to offer my personal view. At any rate... to someone who doesn't suffer from HA, I see the constant worry/complaining as baffling at best. When several doctors and tests "prove" there's nothing wrong, then in my mind, there's nothing wrong so let's just move on and be done with it.

In many ways, especially when it's the same ailment, whether it is a fear of cancer, heart attack, or any other ailment, to continue to pursue it regardless of medical or personal reassurance makes it almost like you wish you were ill. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy thing. It's almost as if you want the doctors to say you're dying. Does that make sense?

For me... my greatest fears were realized. I heard the words "you have cancer" and "you're having a heart attack". Believe me, I would trade all of that and perhaps a body part to hear the doctor say, "it's just an infection. You'll be fine" To me that would be a reason to celebrate! So when I read about someone being given a clean bill of health so to speak, and they continue to believe they have a serious illness, and pursue doctors and testing in an attempt to prove it, it's baffling, frustrating and perhaps even warrants a snarky remark when it's a constant in their lives.
I'm not saying your husband's reaction is right because it isn't. But if my partner were doing that, it would test my patience to the breaking point.

It's great that your doctor has given you a positive report. A duct infection is WAY better than cancer I assure you!

Positive thoughts and prayers.

"T"

[roxy90]

Fishmanpa, I admire your courage for the way you seem to be dealing with the crap life is.throwing at you,.and I.completely see your frustration in watching people worry insanely when they're fine and you're not.

I dont think you can truly understand HA until you've been through it first hand. I used to find it bizzare until I.suffered myself, and its ruining my life.

I genuinely wish you a speedy recovery and all the good luck and health in the world. Xx

[harrys mummy]

As much as I worry about myself when it comes to other peoples health I think the saying is im a good nurse but a terrible patient, im rational, logical and certainly dont think the worse but with me its different so much more so since harry was born.

I totally agree with you 'its an infection' is definitely something to celebrate but as im sure all my fellow HA sufferers will agree your mind just wont let you accept it, there has to be sonething worse this time you know your right! Again!!

Xx

[roxy90]

I totally relate to everything you say. Not.seeing my daughter grow up is the worst thing about this awful.anxiety xx

[HannahA]

My boyfriend is exactly the same. Try and relax, he doesn't understand as he doesn't suffer from HA xx

[cornishmaid]

I suffered from bad anxiety and HA, thought I had everything and anything going on in my body,thinking out scenarios,like you say not eeing kids grow up etc,,then bang diagnosed with breast cancer april 2011,I hve 3 children aged 15,12, nd 5, spent many night crying and a few in hospital from the chemo etc ,hubby tries to understand but doesnt,hes the live for today sorta bloke where I fret about things but saying that I got through it for now and boy am I stronger than I ever thought I would be, and I use 2 week rule, if something sbothering me for more than 2 weeks I go see the doc, unless emergency of course, best wishes in overcoming your health anxiety xxx