Feel like im getting closer to dying everyday!

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">how are things today with you lorraine

<div align="right">Originally posted by rickards - 24 October 2006 : 11:36:34</div id="right">
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This isn't lorraine but we are doing ok.Just taking it day by day wondering what is going to happen,or not happen.Its just another day here and the light is fading.We are doing better about getting up earlier and maybe that will make a difference although at this point im at a loss for what to do when im awake.Its getting really cold here and well that is about it.Mentally Im still worried but its ok..I thank you for asking anyway.

[domino]

soory i,m lorraine ,forgot to put the , in after the question[how are you today], are you able to get out at all i know you say the wether is bad for you out there, is there no trasport that you have to get about. or can anyone visit you? take care . lorraine

[belle]

Hi there...
You feel how i feel. Every single day of my life i feel that "its not much longer" and i also think there is something "very wrong" with me and no one takes any notice of me.
I sat at home tonight just feeling like "its only a matter of time". I HATE having these feelings and they've been going on for a while now. Another thing that i get frequently is that "impending doom" feeling which is horrendously scary.
I wish there was something i could do to not feel like this anymore - but i'm all out of ideas.

Sarah

[cfury]

I feel like this all the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason with the thought "I'm going to die." For some reason the fact just gets registered when I sleep. And recently I've had the feeling that I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I swear: without music I would not be living. And as if that isn't enough, I had a dream about a Grim Reaper a few nights ago before going into Sleep Paralysis, feeling a monster on my chest.

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi there...
You feel how i feel. Every single day of my life i feel that "its not much longer" and i also think there is something "very wrong" with me and no one takes any notice of me.
I sat at home tonight just feeling like "its only a matter of time". I HATE having these feelings and they've been going on for a while now. Another thing that i get frequently is that "impending doom" feeling which is horrendously scary.
I wish there was something i could do to not feel like this anymore - but i'm all out of ideas.

Sarah

Sarah,

Im sorry ... I wish I could think of something comforting to say.Its hard here too and although I have some days that I don't dwell on it ,my mind seems to keep it in the background just enough to make me feel that feeling of doom.I get online everynight and read and read and read about detaching from fear and what fear is and also I read buddist zen quotes and the thing I think that helps me alot is Taoism.I got so scared last night ..I mean to the point of panic..about the fact that we are going to die.I mean..What can you do ..?So I posted in the science part of yahoo about what it means to be alive and a question about what our purpose was.In the meantime I found a site that offered comfort about fear and dying and also how we should live.it helped calm me.I also have started trying to meditate .i am not sure Im doing it right but it seems to make me feel calm.I wish with everything that I am that I could take it all away from us.I don't feel this is living..its just existing with fear.I hope you feel better and try as hard as you can not to think about it..Try to turn your fear around and say you aren't welcome here.Just take it a step at the time and keep hope alive and try to read anything you can about ways to stop feeling fear.There are many sites online..and although I am not sure what religion you are it really makes no difference..you can read the things I am..about taoism..It helps..Im not sure why ,but it does..It just makes sense.I still have moments in my days that it attacks me and I have to argue with myself that maybe im percieving it all wrong,but Im still here so I suppose it will be ok..You are welcome to PM me everyday if you wish and we can chat about how we are feeling.I also have another person that is doing this with me and althoug its nice to have someone put a message on the board its also nice to have the personal touch...Thank you for writing...and I am pulling for you too....Michael

<div align="right">Originally posted by sarahc - 25 October 2006 : 22:08:04</div id="right">
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[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I feel like this all the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason with the thought "I'm going to die." For some reason the fact just gets registered when I sleep. And recently I've had the feeling that I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I swear: without music I would not be living. And as if that isn't enough, I had a dream about a Grim Reaper a few nights ago before going into Sleep Paralysis, feeling a monster on my chest.

<div align="right">Originally posted by cfury - 26 October 2006 : 00:41:25</div id="right">
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Tell me about it..Living at a high altitude..vivid weird dreams and feelings are really in line up here..No wonder that the medicine men used to go the mountains for visions..I believe you could dream anyything here and even hallucinate it too if you wanted.I know the feeling and have experienced the sleep paralysis too.Its really scary ..That too is native to high altitudes as well..I was telling Sarah that responded that I have been trying to read things online about how to beat fear, and also taoism...The teachings are more about conquering fear about death and just anxiety than anything else..its all over the internet.I was reading about death last night and got so rapped up in thoughts that I just like to have gone into a panic attack,but I kept my mind clear and read some taoism and about how to fight fear and what it is ..and it all seem to subside..Im not saying my mind doesn't always have that cloud in the back of it,but im still here and thats living proof that we are going to beat this thing..I promise you ..With all the things and changes that have been brought into my life and all the things that I feel hovering over me all day and night and I feel this way.i am sure that you will be ok to..It will pass..It seems like it won't but it will..One day you will wake up just like me.. im still waiting of course..lol.but We will wake up and realize that we just don't feel this way anymore and that we can get on with our lives..That worry and fear is distructive and it wants to destroy us..I for one refuse to let it.Now If something does happen to me..then it was meant to be..and it was my time..But im starting to realize that fearing life is what we are afraid of..and living in fear is not living at all.I am facing all the things you are all of the time..Im the one that broadcast it here,but we all can at least try to take baby steps and sooner or later we will pull out of it,If you want you can pm me here as i invited sarah to ..at least we all have something in common and we can discuss our thoughts and progress without posting them here..I thank you for writing to me and telling me how you feel.I am here and will be glad to talk about anything.Michael

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">soory i,m lorraine ,forgot to put the , in after the question[how are you today], are you able to get out at all i know you say the wether is bad for you out there, is there no trasport that you have to get about. or can anyone visit you? take care . lorraine

<div align="right">Originally posted by rickards - 25 October 2006 : 17:55:40</div id="right">
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Lorraine,

Im doing better today..been doing alot of reading and yes we can get out.Its not that bad yet but will be soon.Its very cold and the weather will be turning off bad most of the time but we take little trips down to the town for this and that.We really haven't visited anyone,but sometimes seeing faces in the stores or where we go is nice..Thanks for checking on me..and although I have that doom cloud over me..its disipating a little..You take care and thank you .

[MissChampers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I feel like this all the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason with the thought "I'm going to die." For some reason the fact just gets registered when I sleep. And recently I've had the feeling that I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I swear: without music I would not be living. And as if that isn't enough, I had a dream about a Grim Reaper a few nights ago before going into Sleep Paralysis, feeling a monster on my chest.

<div align="right">Originally posted by cfury - 26 October 2006 : 00:41:25</div id="right">
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Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason and think i'm dying. Every day for the past 16 years when I wake up I wonder if today is going to be my last, I think it's got worse as i've got older because more things can go wrong with you and more of my elderly relatives are dying. :(

[looking4answers]

[quote]<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I feel like this all the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason with the thought "I'm going to die." For some reason the fact just gets registered when I sleep. And recently I've had the feeling that I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I swear: without music I would not be living. And as if that isn't enough, I had a dream about a Grim Reaper a few nights ago before going into Sleep Paralysis, feeling a monster on my chest.

<div align="right">Originally posted by cfury - 26 October 2006 : 00:41:25</div id="right">
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Hi,

Im sorry that you are feeling this way to and have been suffering that way for so long.I was just discussing with my wife..that its miserable to feel that way.You just feel like whatever it is let it happen because Im absolutely sick of worrying..At least when you are dead your worries are over.My mom passed away about ten years ago and I went to the doctors office for my check up and my doctor asked me how things were going.I told him my mom had died and I was feeling down..He looked at me and told me that she is in a better place..I started feeling better after I actually thought about what he said ...because it made since..At least her worries of dying and earthly problems were over.All of my family all have died..I mean I had alot of them elderly since i was born late..My mom was 36 when she had me.I had a brother 18 years older that had a massive cornary at 44..hidden causes were all they were able to tel me..Imagine that im 52 and people wonder why I worry about myself..All my aunts some in their nineties and eighties and uncles are all gone..Grand parents both sides ..father..and everybody that was anybody have all gone...Its a wonder that I haven't thought about it more in my life but well I suppose you have to get so angry at death and illness you have to say to it .You don't scare me ..Do what you want..I had a bout with this worry thing about death almost ten years ago.I woke one morning and for some reason during the night I got the feeling I just didn't care anymore.. and for years..I had the best life you could ever have..I wasn't afraid of anyone or anything..I pushed the envelope and did things that normally I would never do.I think so how I was pushed over the edge for a time and got to where I didnt care anymore..It was the best years that I can remember of my life.I guess that is what it takes just gettina angry and saying I just don't care..Do what you may to me im not going to fret over it. I have been reading alot of books about the minds effects on the body ..I found that depressed men have more heart attacks than ones that aren't.And depressed and anxious men have even more heart attacks and I have actually found proof from one doctor that says he has known men that actually ate burgers and what they wanted ,smoked and smoked and drank and abused their bodies to the max and they outlived the people that were running 20 miles a day and eating right and not smoking and also taking care about their blood pressure and checkups..Know what the klincher was? The other people had a don't care attitude and did what they wanted..and didn't worry or be anxious or depressed..I am starting to believe that from what I have read and people I have known..Even the buddist,the taoist,and other cultures speak of mind over body..Now even scientist are saying it really doesn't matter about how careful you are ,its in your mind..So im going to do my best to say the hell with death and illness whatever is going to be is going to be..I a

[looking4answers]

Update for going to the hospital for pulse in ears,
I gathered as much courage as I could almost
coming unglued as the time for my appointment
neared.I went to sleep late as usual and allowed
for very little time to gather strength again in
the morning.I got in my vehicle and drove
30 miles to the hospital and parked way out
in the parking area and walked in to find that
the doctors I was looking for were on the 2nd
floor.I was rigid as a steel pipe but was still
doing ok.I was tested for hearing..Perfect,
tested for tumors…no tumors..no infections
no fluid in ears , a little wax but very little,
no cancers, no lesions,no blockages, no
bruits no nothing. Diagnoses was loss of 35lbs
over the time it took for me to start hearing
my pulse rate..causing loss of padding also
causing shift of tubes nearer to artery also
TMJ causing shift in muscles and nerves
and vascular sections close to the inner
ear.Complete three hour test ,checkup
and blood pressure spiking but went
back down to normal by end of
visit .Cause of pulse in ears surmised
was loss of weight,altitude change
and stress.Doctor said there was no blockage
of arteries ,no tumors,and if I could live
with the noise,which I have lived with
tinnitus for almost 20 years I think that
eventually my brain will come to not
hear this anymore or it could go away.
Doctor also said that he could order
scans but they would be negative and there
was nothing that pointed to a reason for
any scans..In short…It is all in my head,
He said I would probably live another day
to make another post lol…Thank you for your
reply to me and help.I made it through the
doctor and for me that was the hardest part.