I swear I have the worst trust issues, EVER. I don't trust anybody, not even my family when they say that they love me or whatever.

If I get into a relationship, (which I doubt because I think I will always be alone) then I wouldn't be able to cope with it. Even if I knew them for months and want to get a house together, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night in fear that I might get assaulted or something, even though they would tell me that they're genuine.

I feel really bad, and feel like a stupid hypocrite because I always expect other people to trust me even though I never trust them....

Also, I am ALWAYS looking back if someone is behind me or walking behind me. I am always thinking that they're carrying a knife or something and will try stabbing me, especially if it's at night. Sounds completely ridiculous, right? Well, I am a ridiculous person after all. :(

I don't know what's caused this. I have never been abused or anything in my life. However, I was bullied in school and was back-stabbed constantly, so I think that may be the reason? I don't know why I have a problem with people behind me, though. If someone is standing behind me, I ask them politely not to as it makes me anxious.