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Thread: ladies please

  1. #1
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    ladies please

    Hi ladies,Im 39,and 40 very very soon.I would like to ask how all you ladies who suffer from panic and anxiety have gone on to have children,and how you all coped with carrying,hospital visits and childbirth.I think for you all to have gone through this with this illness you are all fantastic women.
    I feel my illness has stopped me from having a family,this really gets me down.I have been with my partner 24 years.We started trying about 4 years ago(THATS WHEN I HAD A SEX DRIVE!!!!).I have a hormone problem and haveing blood test ect,but I know in myself Im terrified I wont cope.Im relieved in a away that I havent fallen,it would terrify me to go through it all,the clinics,the birth,looking after a baby.Would I make a bad mum.HELP!!!
    I would love to make my parents granny & grampa and my partner a daddy.How did you all do it girls.Some days I want to be a mum and feel quite positive and then that old anxiety gets in the way again.
    Hope I have made sense here,Im having a down day as well,so probably gone on and on.
    Thank you
    love

    Ellen XX

  2. #2
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    Hi Ellen I had pas through both my pregnancys and you just get on with it. I found I was too busy worrying about the baby to focus too much on me.

    If its what you really want then go for it and im sure you will be a brilliant mum!!!

    luv kaz x x x

  3. #3
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    Hiya,

    I think having children does give us something to focus on other then our anxiety, my youngest was 18 months old when I began to suffer and to be honest she has grown up far more indepandant than her sisters ever were at her age.

    Having anxiety would not make you a bad mum by any means, I think it makes us a lot more understanding.

    Take care

    Trac xx

    'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

  4. #4
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    hi ellen i can only say id had mine when i started like this,but you do have things to focus on more and you do cope,i have thought before that if i hadnt got the kids then i dont think i would be getting better now as quick.i have to carry on and do things more which is good i suppose.i am sure you will be fine and if thats what you really want then go for it.hope this helps take care tracy

  5. #5
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    Hi Ellen, I didn't suffer from anxiety when I had my 1st baby (she's 18 now), but I did suffer from post-natal depression with my 2nd and my 3rd baby was a breeze. He's 6 now and I've suffered with anxiety for 2 years, but all the kids have coped well with it. You do learn to cope and like everyone seems to say here, you have something else to focus on rather than your anxiety. I think as new mum's we all at some point feel anxious and scared of the unknown, will we cope? We all do believe me. I love my kids more than anything in the whole wide world and even when they are horrors, they are the only poeple who can make me happier than I've ever been. Don't leave it too late, you don't want any regrets and as for a sex drive, what's that haha!!

    Good luck whatever you decide to do.

    Les, xx

  6. #6
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    Thank you for all your help.

    Ellen XX

  7. #7
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    I was the same as you and have had 3 children :-)

    The third was difficult cause I had agoraphobia but the docs and nurses came to me and did blood tests etc and I even had a visit from the hospital specialist to check all was OK

    I would go and explain to your doc and talk it over with him
    It is soooo worth it in the end. I wouldnt be without my children (grown up now) you have somebody to think about other than yourself and they are amazing watching them grow from tiny babies.
    You will cope and make a great mum and there are support services out there for mums these days more than there were when I had mine

    Hope that helps
    Pamx

  8. #8
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    I was 37 when I had my son. I'd suffered with anxiety and depression before falling pregnant and I was very worried about that. But as others have said, the main focus is getting your baby through the pregnancy and you really don't have the time to think about yourself.

    I had post-natal depression after he was born but that's not guaranteed for every anxiety sufferer - just the way my luck fell. :(

  9. #9
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    My anxiety and PA's actually stopped when I had my kids. Maybe it's because I had something else to think about apart from focusing on myself all the time. It's when I went back to work trying to juggle everything they came back again.

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