Worry yourself into depression and anxiety which by the way is a killer..That helps me knowing that alot. Saw many articles that say that they have found out that depressed men die quicker and they can't figure it out and anxious men die even quicker than that..and retired men die even quicker than that.IM sick of it.!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cant people that think or feel they are sick live forever..GOD some of my family did...History of my family ..the ones that had phobias and ones that had imaginary illness lived almost forever..Im talking about in their late 90's..Cant that happen to me?????????/I am so sick of being sick..or worrying about being sick...Its driving me absolutely sick....Now that I know that stress from worry and anxiety can kill me over people that smoke ,drink,and abuse their bodies and eat anything live forever and those that worry about dying suffer from stroke and heart attack..more often..this will kill me..But of course the Chinese knew about this 3000 years ago and thats why they learned how to meditate and although they look serious..I think they are basically I don't care..lol..Just kidding a little Asian humor there..My wife is Asian so im entitled..Lol..But I wake checking my pulse..which I can normally hear because my doctor says that I have an ear blockage that cant be fixed until I see the ent which this state I think has only one of .. so you have to wait although your ear fluid blockage could be a artery that is closiing up in your head that might explode any minute..But I check my pulse hearing it and a murmur that my doctor was so kind to mention casually that I had .. and didn''t know that I had.. I wake up usually with acid stomach from passing out on the bed finally after fighting sleep so long with nothing to eat..Then my pulse is either a little high from being under the blanket and then I finally pull myslef out of bed or not..But usually get up then the pounding starts in my head.. Must be that fluid that is juicing up my ear or the blood is starting to clot in the artery that im hearing..either one its very annoying then I go get a little coffee and toast and then worry that it will make my pulse harder..maybe not because they said that I could have a cup of coffee ..But is that cup going to make me anxous..Let me take my pulse to make sure its not....Then hmmm its up about 7 beats ..let me lay back down and be quiet to see if it will slow down..Then my back starts hurting conviently on my left side..Oh no let me take my pulse again..My neck is also hurting ..is it that artery or is it the way I slept last night to make sure that I didn't cut the blood off and I couldn't hear my pulse...Well I should say was it the way I slept during the day because I can't sleep at night because Im afraid that I have to stay awake because if I needed to call 911 I would probably have to get my wife to take me to the hospital cause 911 is probably asleep..Let me worry futher here..Is there enough air in the tires..did I check that last night when i was awake..What if I have to go the hospital and my tire if flat..When I finally drag myself out of bed to get up..the sun is fading and i curse myself thinking what kind of life is this..Getting up at dark..becoming vampire I suppose..I get up and decide to have another cup of coffee..and thinking it wont hurt me ,but while im drinking this one the other is generating gas in just the right place..My heart...here we go back to checking the pulse.. I usually don't finish the first cup..I get up and do things around the house to finally collapse on the couch for a bit and yes you guessed it ..check my pulse..to make sure im not overdoing it..by this time the pulse or anuyrism that I have that im hearing is booming..and I think,this must be it..Then I relax a little if that is what you call it then get up and start again and then repeat..all the time making sure that im not dizzy or lightheaded..That would be a forsure sign that im having a heart attack .. then I lay back down and repeat and reason with myself..I just did all of those things and didn't suffer a
Reply With Quote
