Dealing with Change

[suzyq77]

How do you deal with change??

I have Agoraphobia and I have comfort places and comfort people. I can not leave the house unless it is with my OH or bestfriend if we are going somewhere new. Even with them I still have panic attacks depending on the situation.

This morning I decided to go to the local shops to get some bread and milk. I can do that on my own, as it is a comfort place. I get there and they have changed the supermarket from a Bi-Lo to a Coles. Changed all the branding, signs and checkouts. I start freaking out and can not get myself out of the car as there is no way I can go in there as it is all going to be different.

So how does one deal with change, as change is inevitable??

[candie]

Hi suzy,
The shop hasnt changed,its YOUR ATTITUDE towards it thats changed.
I mean i know the shop has had a refurbishment by changing its name and the layout and the shelves etc but its still in the same place as it was and youve felt safe enough to go before and you will again.

For people like us,small things like that really freak us out whereas "normal" (whats normal..? LOL) people dont give it a second thought.To us its such a big deal.

Just try not to think of it as a big deal,as i said you havent got to travel any further or anything....
Nothing bad will happen just because theyve changed the shop,youve just got to keep going so then you can get used to it in no time.

Things will always change,we just have to go with it!!!

Easier said than done but we will get there.
Take care and keep smiling...Candie xx

[Eveline]

Although I did have two panic attacks before, I've had lots since I've moved from Holland to England, now 3 months ago. The first one on the very first day I got here...

I blamed it on the weather, it was extremely hot, the fact that I'd just been on the Seacat which I was warned about it being a trigger for seasickness (I have a phobia for vomiting....) and my family resented (well, still does) for leaving the situation I was in to move in with my english boyfriend...

Since that first attack here, I've had about 8 more, mostly triggered by sleeping before bedtime. Snuggling up to watch tv and then dozing off, waking up all hot and panicky.... but just now, I woke up after being asleep for an hour (at night, this time....) feeling like I was about to choke, afraid to be sick. I have that awful lump in my throat and feel clammy and want to go outside to walk it off, but can't on my own. My boyfriend is at work right now (it's 4.20 am here) and will not be here until 6.45......

I think a lot of my panic attacks, though they are mostly about being afraid of being sick, and of not being able to swallow, have to do with my family. They are very very upset with me, which is something I never wanted to happen, and they have been ignoring my emails and letters for the last 3 weeks. They refuse to set up Skype so we can call for free, and I know I'll just not know what to say if I were to call them on the phone...

The thing is, I'm very very very happy to be here! My boyfriend is the sweetest man ever, he's now sending me txt messages to make sure I'm ok, he walks with me day or night if I need to, he's very very supportive. I love him so very much, and he loves me. And I love England. I love the language, the people, I love that it's not completely different from 'back home', and that it's not all that far.. Just 6 hours door to door...

I'm sorry for taking up so much space, but typing seems to help...

[feels_like_home]

Hi,

I completely understand. I hate change. Even when it is a positive change I have a hard time coping. I just recently got married and I am starting out in my career. My anxiety has been a lot worse because of all this change. I just keep telling myself that it is all positive.

When I get anxious because of change I try to do something I always do. Like take a walk around my neighbourhood or go out with my friends. I also try to create some rountine to my day. I hope this helps.

You are right change is inevitable. We just need to learn how to embrass change instead of trying to hide from it. I am working on it.

Michelle

[kate H]

I try to look at change as a positive now. I moved house two months ago and was so scared it would trigger my anxietyu and PA again but to my suprise it hasnt. Infact i feel better, my old house reminded me of all the panic and anxiety and i always felt really spaced out in my living room. Now its better, new surroundings have somehow managed to help.

i guess what i am saying is now the supermarket has changed you may feel better in there than u did before????

****You can never get rid of the butterflies, but you can teach them to fly in formation ****