just started citalopram for depression...

[costagirl]

Hi there,

I am at Uni in my final year and I've been prescribed citalopram for anxiety and depression which has been creeping on for a couple of months now, various things happened in the Summer which may have contributed to this but I thought that being at Uni would make me feel happier. It did for a week or so, but suddenly I just found myself feeling so restless, like I didn't know what to do with myself and constantly thinking that the future will be rubbish! I've lost interest in things that would normally motivate me and make me happy, and I've had so many thoughts about why we're here and what the meaning of life is, it's horrible! The doctor said this is called derealisation and is a symptom of anxiety...
Anyway so I've been taking 10mg Citalopram every morning for a week now and I wouldn't say I really feel any better. I still feel restless, and the mornings are horrendous, I just don't want to get up and face the day but lying in bed in a way makes it worse so eventually I just pull myself out of bed. I have no concentration in lectures and I've struggled to have any motivation to do my work, I just have to force myself to and think that I will cause more problems by not doing it. It doesn't help that the work load for final year is already high. I have a dissertation to be thinking about and I just can't motivate myself! I keep thinking about death, and then feeling guilty for thinking about it, I don't want to hurt myself and I wouldn't, but the feeling that things might not get better is awful and hard to handle! It's like I keep switching from the horrid thoughts to suddenly feeling (slightly) more positive. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing control and going crazy!
I feel much better in the evenings just before bed... almost completely happy and normal and I don't know why this is, has anyone else experienced this?
I was just wondering if anyone else has any advice or has had any of these feelings on citalopram?
The doctors have been fairly helpful - I have rung them twice in the last week or so after feeling desperate to check that what I've been feeling is just side effects while the tablets kick in and they have told me to try and stick it out. I've been on the tablets for a week now and so far don't feel much better at all!

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums. I can relate to many of your experiences. Citalopram can take a few weeks to kick in fully. The first time I was on it, it started to kick in after only about 5 days, but the second time round it took about 4 weeks before I began to feel better. It varies from case to case. It is also very common to still have side effects after one week. Try to stick with it for now -I've often heard people say that if you get side effects to begin with, it usually means the meds will work well for you once they've kicked in. If things do get unbearable though, you can ask your doctor about alternatives.

I've also had those intrusive thoughts about death, in fact that's the main theme of my anxiety and why I went on meds in the first place. I found that the intrusive thoughts became more intense in the early days of starting cit. Things gradually improved though, and after a couple of months I was hardly getting those thoughts at all and felt pretty much back to my usual self.

I hope you feel better soon.

---------- Post added at 14:01 ---------- Previous post was at 13:57 ----------

Just wanted to add, when I'm very anxious I almost always feel much better in the evenings then during the daytime. Mornings are the worst, and this seems to be quite a common pattern with anxiety and depression.

[costagirl]

Hi Sparkle1984,

I really appreciate your reply, it helps just to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this, although I keep forgetting and feeling like it is just me that feels so bad all of the time! Apparently it's so common too, but no one else I really know seems to suffer :/
I have this constant worry that I will be like this forever, how can you go back to being happy when you've felt this down? I just want to feel normal again, I'm not a very patient person so this feels like it has been the longest week of my life since starting the tablets!

[Britabb]

Hi costagirl. There are lots of us in the early days of cit. U can find me posting a lot on the cit forum if it helps.

Xx

---------- Post added at 16:35 ---------- Previous post was at 16:31 ----------

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=49

[joanne1967]

Hiya im on my fourth week now and I can honestly say it does really get better I never ever thought it would the panic attacks get less phewww stick at it and you feel the benefits soon xx

[Britabb]

Joanne, what dose are u on??
Xx

[joanne1967]

Hiya britabb im on 10mg which seems to be ok are you on cit? X

[Sparkle1984]

Hi Sparkle1984,

I really appreciate your reply, it helps just to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this, although I keep forgetting and feeling like it is just me that feels so bad all of the time! Apparently it's so common too, but no one else I really know seems to suffer :/
I have this constant worry that I will be like this forever, how can you go back to being happy when you've felt this down? I just want to feel normal again, I'm not a very patient person so this feels like it has been the longest week of my life since starting the tablets!

I can relate to the feeling that I'll never go back to being happy again. I have that every time I go through an episode, but I always do overcome it eventually. There will be brighter times ahead, even though it may not seem like it now.

[mikewales]

It does take varying times for it to build up in your system and start working for different people, and sometimes a different dose is needed to find the one that suits you. Stick with it though and hopefully you should start seeing a difference soon

[Britabb]

I was on 20mg for ten yrs. Then increased to 30 for a week, then 40 for 18 days, now back to 30 ...... Getting peed off with getting dose right >:(