Have worried about health for so long I can't stop

[looking4answers]

Ok...I went to three doctors..They are in agreement that there isn't pretty much anything wrong.Although I can hear my pulse everyday ..thats something I have to live with..Its a reminder of knowing my heart is beating..Which I suppose I can live with although lately I have been trying to get out and do a little more than I usally do..Going out to eat..having friends over etc..My heart skips alot more beats than it used to..I suppose from acid reflux and anxiety of being in new situtations and talking to people that I haven't talked to in a long time.I have been trying as hard as I can to be normal..Its like being on a job 24 hours a day.Over the time I have been worried about my health and what was wrong with me, I have put everything else on hold in my life..I used to look up fun things on the internet..Now I can't get away from anything to do with health...always looking a symptom up..i can't stop..its like a drug..I also used to ride my four wheeler..and go for long drives..now I worry that the excitement my make my heart go bad..and thats weird cause the doctors say that I don't have anything wrong in that way.. I used to come in and watch movies and look at the stars and always always thinking about what I was going to do next or next week or next year..Now all I can think about is make sure the pulse is right..you aren't exerting yourself.. make sure that your heart isn't skipping beats although you know its anxiety you want to make sure that one time isn't the end..I then end my day getting on the computer..telling myself im going to look up something and do something I used to do ,but in the middle i will minimise the thing I was reading and look up something like missed beats.. My wife told me tonight..I think that you just want something to be wrong with you .I really don't ..I want my interest back .. I don't want to think about this stuff anymore..I suppose its an obsession..I can't stop..Im on my way back to not being depressed and being more me..but I can't stop the symptom thing..Last night I was sitting on the computer and enjoying myself looking up somethings about my family geneology..I was really for the first time enjoying myself..Then my arm just under my life arm starting hurting really bad.. I though..ah its just a little pain it will go away in a few minutes..guess what I tried and tried to ignore it and then started hurting like a pain in my ribs like someone pushing my ribcage together.I kept thinking i know what this sounds like and im not going to let it get to me..After an hour or two of serious pain I started looking up symptoms I gave in..Its heart attack...so close to anxiety symptoms and then started trying to find out how you know the difference.. I found one refference where someone said that they heard their pulse in their ears and the doctor talking about heart attack said if you are having a heart attack you want give a damn about hearing anything you will be on the floor in agony..But I found other articles that said that 300000 Americans die every year because they thought it was nothing and ignored it.. So I want to stop worrying I was brave went to the doctors and they said nothing I want my interest back and want to stop obsessing about my health..anybody got any ideas? I hate it..its a bad sickness..I want to be fearless and ignore missed beats and worries..I read posiitive things about fear and worry and anxiety every night before I go to sleep it puts me in a passive mood...its the last thing I read so im somewhat relaxed..I hate this....worrying ..its like cocaine or heroine or some drug..Im so obsessed by it ,I feel its taken over my life and I want it to stop. I have gone so far and done so much to let it swallow me up like this now..I am at a loss for ideas other than having a hypmotist give it a try .. Anyone want to imput..I would welcome it.. Thank you

[spuds]

Well, I wrote a massive rely to you, L4A, but somehow it didn't work so now I've got to do it all again!

This is a wonderful site and you will find lots of support here. Someone will be along in a while with a big list of links about missed heartbeats and such which may put your mind at rest a little. When my husband was checked out for palpitations he was fine, but the doctor said he had become 'tuned in' to his heart and was more aware of what it was doing than usual - this is what happens with many of us here. When I am busy or distracted I don't think about my heart, at other times I can feel tightness in my chest, missed beats etc.

Everyone on this board will know how you feel. If three doctors have said you are ok then you very probably are - one of them would have picked up a serious problem I'm sure. Yet, like many of us, you are finding it hard to accept there is nothing wrong. This is the nature of our anxiety - we cannot rationalise our thoughts and go straight into 'catastrophic thinking', immediately expecting the worst.

I have been helped by a CBT technique where you write down what you are worried about and then put a rational response. It helped me to think about things more logically. I can also recommend Dr Claire Weekes books:

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Your-Nerv...e=UTF8&s=books

She says missed beats are nothing to worry about - once you accept your anxiety and stop fighting it, you will stop producing adreneline and you heart will stop these feelings.

I hope you begin to feel better - like you say it is tiring and frustrating feeling like this all the time, like having a full time job being anxious. I never look up health things on the internet now - it is human nature to see the negative things not the positive. I know I am prone to negative thinking so it really isn't helpful. In fact, I always end every internet session by looking at someting positive or enjoyable, like a hobby related site - NMP is great but I look at something after it so that anxiety is not the last thing I'm thinking about when I log off.

Best wishes.

[chillx]

Hi

The link that Spuds has given you is worth looking at. Claire Weekes "Self Help for your Nerves" is an excellent book and certainly helped me to understand my symptoms. The hardest part is accepting your symptoms are as a result of anxiety and stress and nothing more sinister. You fear the symptoms, adrenalin kicks in and the symptoms worsen. I was exactly the same with my dizziness I couldn't accept it was a result of my anxiety and kept visiting the doctor and not believing what she had to say. After reading Claire Weekes book and following the freedom from fear program I am now recovering. I still have a long way to go.

There is nothing new here it is all about acceptance and facing your anxieties head on and not running away. The first step is to trust the medical professionals, you have been well checked out and have been given the all clear. Also remember that the nervous system doesn't just heal over night it takes time. The subconscious is very powerful and memories and thoughts will trigger further attacks.

Try this free online CBT course especially if you haven't been offered CBT where you live. http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/elearning/


Try and be patient and kind to yourself.

chillx