I have come here to this forum because I am at my wits end. Having suffered from anxiety since I was a child aged 4, I am currently going through the worst time of my life.
Like I said I have battled anxiety since as far back as I am able to remember and it has always manifested itself in vaious different ways.
As a child it was seperation anxiety from my Mum, I was always crying when she left me at school. And when I wasn't crying because of seperation anxiety I would be crying and hysterical for no apparent reason. I just remember feeling really horrible and distressed at every little thing. Unfortunately at the time I was too young to understand what I was suffering from, I now assume it was anxiety.
As a child I could never sleep at night, I was always wondering the house and had a fear of "being the last person awake" I would lie in bed for hours just unable to switch off.
Then as a teenager I had intrusive thoughts and other strange behaviour. E.g. I would need to write down everything the teacher told us in class in case I forgot it, I would also write down everything anyone had said to me during the day and then spend the evening after school analysing it and wondering "what they meant" by it.
Then aged 16 in June 2004 I suffered what I now know to be my first full blown axiety attack. And to be honest it has been with me since then, not a day goes by when I dont think about the potential of a recurring panic attack. And as a result of this I now believe that I suffer from Panic Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and many various bizarre phobias.
However since February 2013 this year my quality and standard of life has started to become greatly impaired. The main symptom I am suffering from these days is "retching" without vomiting/nausea. It is plaguing me nearly every single day recently and it is starting to scare me as I don’t know why my body is behaving in this manner. It is now leading to a partial agoraphobia as I am now going to great lengths to avoid any situation where I could become susceptible to danger. E.g. I will now go to ridiculous lengths to avoid going on a long car journey by myself in case I start retching and become overwhelmed by it, thus resulting in being stranded far away from home in a place I am not used to with a nasty symptom that I have very little control over.
The only remedy that brings me partial relief is Tic Tacs, but these have caused my blood sugar levels to rise to very high levels so I have had to revert to Sugar Free mints recently, these don’t have the same effect as Tic Tacs but they eventually stop the retching from becoming overwhelming.
I am about 90% convinced that my retching is caused by anxiety and or depression as I have felt very bad these last few years as we have had a lot of trouble in our lives. However there is a 10% of me that can’t help but wonder if it could be an unrelated medical disorder E.G. H-Plyori which is causing me to retch and this in turn could be making me feel anxious? So in other words is the retching caused by anxiety or is the retching caused by a separate medical condition which in turn is triggering my anxiety? Either way it is making my life a complete and utter misery as it is embarrasing, uncomfortable and very unpredictable and irritating.
I have a family history of Coeliac disease and I thought that I might too have the same condition as my chances went from 1 in 100 to 1 in 10 as I have an immediate family member with Coeliac disease. I asked my GP to send me for a blood test (Anti TTG) to see if Coeliac disease could be to blame for my retching, however my test came back all clear.
I went to my GP in September 2013 and had blood tests done the same month. 7 of the tests came back all clear but a Blood Glucose Fasting test revealed a blood sugar level of 7.9. This concerned my doctor who sent me for a repeat test in October 2013. This time round my blood sugar level had dropped to 6.7. So I was then sent for an Oral Glucose Fasting test which I am currently in the process of arranging. Could this have anything to do with my retching? I have made enquires but any link between retching and pre-diabetes doesnt seem to exist.
The lack of any pain or discomfort in any part of my body and the fact that I never vomit and or feel nauseas must surely eliminate any severe physical illness surely???
I have a very bad diet admittedly. I drink regularly and regularly exceed the UK Daily Limit guidelines. I eat very quickly and erratically and I never eat breakfast. Lunch is often very hurried and dinner is consumed fairly quickly usually accompanied with cans of lager.
My Mum suffered from anxiety in 1985 and was rushed to Casualty where she was prescribed Valium and Propranalol. My Dad suffered from wild mood swings and "dark moods" as he would call them. My Nan suffered from her nerves and eventually ended up with depression, agrapohbia and sadly in later years dementia. So I do have a family history of mental illness.
I think I have covered everything in this article, if anyone has suffered from the same bizarre symptom or has any idea about what could be causing this debilitating symptom (retching) then I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions.
Thank You
Calum
P.S. There is a lot more that I haven't gone into detail about but I fear I could be writing this all day long if I was to continue. I will add more should it become nessecary.
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