As I recover from cancer treatment, it's become quite evident that I've not been cured of my illness.
When we speak of a disease, we often tend to think of it in absolute terms. Curable and incurable. This is due mostly to the way we think of medicine and the way modern society thinks of it. It doesn't take into consideration the in-between or gray areas in which most of life unfolds.
The words “healing” and “curing” are often used interchangeably and thought to be the same, but their definitions couldn't be more different. Curing is a restoration of health, an absence of symptoms, and a remedy of disease. Healing, on the other hand, is a restoration of wholeness — not the level of wholeness before the diagnosis, but a restoration of wholeness that is new, different, and can be better or sometimes worse than before the onset of disease. Healing doesn't remove all the symptoms, but it's an integrative process that transcends the physical and includes mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I didn't hear the word "cure". I heard "treatable" and it scared the bejeebers out of me. When I met with my team at Johns Hopkins, they assured me they could eradicate the cancer but never did they use the word "cure". I asked my MO about it and she said this: "You will never be cured, you will always be a 'survivor'. We will kill the cancer and we'll heal you but it will always be a part of who you are from now on". Those words couldn't be more true! From the moment of diagnosis, your life changes and will never be the same.
So I'm healed. More accurately I'm healing. I have a way to go before I reach what will be considered my "new normal". The person I was before diagnosis is vastly different to the person I have become. I've been forced to look within and change the way I live my life. I have to eat differently and compensate my day to day life due to side effects from treatment. Hopefully, the person I am now will pale in comparison to the person I will become as personal development and healing has no real end. Healing is an uncomfortable and lengthy process because it requires changes to a multitude of areas, including what you eat, drink, say, think, and do. It will require seeking help from professionals as you break old, unhealthy patterns and create new and healthier ones.
It's the same with anxiety. You can be healed but in reality, you will never be "cured". Reading Tanner's post this morning brought that reality into the light. Many here are and have quelled the beast that is anxiety but there will always be the possibility of a blip. It's in the healing process that they've gained the strength to quell the beast when it rears it's head and prevent it from hurting them.
So don't set your expectations for a "cure". Seek "healing". Know that "healing" takes a lot of work and it's a process and a means to an end as opposed to an end in itself.
As I'm taking the steps to heal from my illness, take the steps to heal from yoursI look forward to hearing of your successes and victories.
Positive thoughts!
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