Hi everyone - I'm a 26 year old female from Australia who suffers from GAD and depression. 8 weeks ago I started to have head pressure and depersonalization and was diagnosed with mono and anxiety. I decided not to go back on medication and to try get through it. It got to the point where I couldn't function properly so I felt like I had to go back on medication. I went through the same thing in Feb this year and was put onto Paxil. It was a nightmare to go on. I've been on Citalopram before for depression and didn't have any side effects so the doctors decided to give it a try.
It's now day 19 and I wanted to share with you my journey as I spend so much time searching to see other peoples experiences. I hope this can help someone in need!
Days 1-2 I took 10mg. I threw up a few hours after taking each tablet so not sure if they were obsorbded correctly. I think the throwing up was due to my high levels of anxiety.
Day 3 - I decided to bite the bullet and take 20mg. This day was hell. I woke up crying and with anxiety. I layed in bed for a few hours and my mum (who is my support person) made me get up shower. I had dizziness, blurred vision, head pressure, depersonalization, couldn't eat, nausea.
Day 4-11 - All of the above. I lost about 6kg from not eating. Sleeping is an issue. I go to bed at 9 and wake up by 12. Usually I drift back to sleep for a few minutes waking up until about 4. By 4 the anxiety is full on. I lay in bed shaking and trying to vomit. I take my tablet at 6 in the morning with a dry biscuit in bed. My mum usually comes into my room at 7 to try calm me down. She makes me get up and shower. She usually try's to get me out once a day by going to the shops but the whole time I am depressed, uninterested and the dizziness/head pressure makes me feel like I'm not even there? I have niggling anxiety all day, like it wants to attack at my weakest moment.
Night of day 11 (Christmas Eve) my partner of 9 years decided to go out with his friends. We have had a bad relationship for 9 years and I just couldn't take the pain and not being supported anymore.
Day 12 (Christmas Day) - Woke up again with extreme anxiety, crying etc. I didn't enjoy Christmas at all. I packed my partners things and told him it was over.
Day 13-17 - I feel lonely and depressed. Morning still consist of the same bad anxiety, can't get out of bed etc. I spend so much time worrying that I will never feel better and about being alone. My parents love in another town and are going home in 1 week. Mums been with me since I started this and is my rock, I'm scared what's going to happen being alone.
Night sweats started on Day 17. I sleep with aircon at 18 degrees and still sweat.
Day 18 - Same morning business but worse because my ex partner contacted me causing a fight. I had the full on anxiety attack. My mum rang my best friend to come take me out. We went shopping where again the head pressure and weird head feelings make me feel like I'm not even there, it's scary. I had a 80 min massage and the lady said she had never felt tension like mine. It hurt so bad but I felt good after. I laughed today.
Day 19 - so last night I went to bed at 9:30 and slept until about 12. Then on and off until 4. At 6 I felt nausea but had my dry biscuit and tablet. I wake up every day dreading the day and can't wait for 9 comes so I can fall asleep and not feel anything. Tonight is New Year's Eve and my friends want me to go I dinner with them. I'm anxious and nervous.
When I was on paxil I was feeling much better by now. I'm not sure if it's just going to take longer this time but I feel like giving up. I'm still suffering from mono and with the break up in feel like everything is just too much at the moment. I pray every night that when I wake up I will feel like my old self, but hope is fading.