6 month update... *sigh*

[Icequeen]

well 6 months in... 30mg Citalopram...

had a relatively good time through Christmas and January then February brought a blip, and since then I have had a few and now I am in another one... there seems to be no real reason, I just suddenly feel so down, everything is disturbed... work, appetite, sleeping, conversation...

I get a lot of tiredness, which I am unsure whether or not is really tiredness, but throughout my days, whether in a blip or not, I get confused, dazed and almost pass out, I took to napping in my car on lunch break but coming round form it take a good half hour or more... caffeine does nothing... sometimes it happens in the car on my way to work, my eyes become SO heavy they just want to close... but its a totally different kind of exhaustion than general "tiredness", say if id had a late night, or bad night sleep, its never EVER felt like this, its quite disturbing...

Today I woke up the lowest of lows, I wanted to crawl under my duvet and stay there... it was my birthday yesterday, which was "meh"... and tonight I have a meal out with family and friends, which I AM looking forward to and know i'll be happy once there... its just between now and then...

i just don't know... everything seems unknown to me, unfamilier, ive no motivation...

i just don't know :(

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Hey Icequeen,
First off- happy birthday!

Second- I am sorry you are dealing with such fatigue and depression. Have you been able to talk with your GP about these details? Also, are you exercising? I have found that working out has been essential to joy and energy in this journey. It is so hard to get motivated, but if you could find something- some kind of class (especially cardio)- then it might really be helpful.

[Icequeen]

Hey Icequeen,
First off- happy birthday!

Second- I am sorry you are dealing with such fatigue and depression. Have you been able to talk with your GP about these details? Also, are you exercising? I have found that working out has been essential to joy and energy in this journey. It is so hard to get motivated, but if you could find something- some kind of class (especially cardio)- then it might really be helpful.

I do get plenty of exercise and fresh air, i have horses and dogs so im either dog walking or horse riding, or mucking out stables etc!

I spoke to my GP who said it sounds like a sugar crash... and to keep a diary of it happening and eat some sugar... well, i do that and there is no connection that i can see, sugar does not help at all... ?!

Maybe its just my depression getting the better of me, I work full weeks now, and maybe im exhausting myself?

motivation is impossible to find, and i feel so ashamed saying that. admittedly i don't do as much as i could... but its honestly not as easy as forcing myself to do stuff, some stuff just doesn't happen!!!

i think i might look into a new class though, thank you for that idea, my local gym do loads of evening classes of all kinds, i have just called them and got myself arranged for a chat with someone there Sunday, to see what they have and when etc.... xxx

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Oh, good! Maybe even just something out of the norm will give you a spark!

Also, I have a friend that was on a SSRI, but it was not working very well for her and she had no motivation or energy. They moved her to a SNRI and it really did wonders for her. I am not a doctor and don't have extensive knowledge in this area, but thought I would pass that along too in case it would be something to ask your GP about.

I hope you have a great evening at your dinner tonight!