Holiday and anxiety

[LF87]

Hi,

It's been a while since I posted here. I've been managing alright with my health anxiety the past few weeks. I've started seeing a new psychologist and she's very good. The problem is, it's coming up to 'holiday' time, and I'm stuck in a predicament and just wondering if anyone can give me some advice. It's not necessarily a health anxiety post, but health anxiety is one of the problems.
My friends have booked to go to Turkey on 6th June and stay in my friends villa. They've asked me to come, but I really don't know what to and I'm finding the whole thing very stressful.
I'm scared of the flight for a start, terrified in fact. Not only to I worry about the general functionality of planes, but I worry incase I get ill or something on the plane. So that's the first problem. Then when I actually get there I worry about being ill when I'm there. I worry about the having to go out for drinks part because of the hangover the next day. I can deal with it at home, because it's home. Plus my friends will notice. When I'm away I become a totally different person. Everything is a worry.
My question is, should I be forcing myself to go? I am SICK of my anxiety problems stopping me having a life. I am so envious of just about everyone I know because of their carefree attitude to everything. I can't even bring myself to book the thing. The lady I have been seeing says yes I should go, as a sort of exposure. But I just don't know if I can. I would rather go away with my boyfriend because he knows all of my problems and I can talk to him if I'm panicking. I wouldn't talk like that to my friends so I'd be kind of stuck in that awful feeling. My last holiday was with my boyfriend, which I totally ruined for both of us. I had an ulcer, which I was very worried about. I took a photo of it every day to check the size. I barely ate or drank. I came home 6lbs lighter after an all inclusive holiday. That's how bad it can be. Holidays for me can actually be more stressful and anxiety provoking than anything else, completely defeating the object. It's like spending money to feel absolutely awful. Nobody would do that!
Does anyone else feel this way or have any advice on what I should do?
Thankyou.

[Andromeda]

I think you answered your own question, you are sick of anxiety stopping you from doing the things you want in life - so don't let it stop you.

I hate flying but i've been away 4 times in the last 2 years! One was on a girls 18-30's holiday to Greece not long after i'd recovered from being very very sick.
I didn't want to go and i had all the same worries you have but something inside of me just pushed myself to do it!
It was noisy, loud, hot, busy, blurry - all the things i usually avoid to keep my anxiety at bay but i did it and i can't tell you how good it felt when i got home and realised how strong i was.
I did have a few uncomfortable nights and no i couldn't talk it out with the girls i was with as i normally would with say, my family or boyfriend...but i got through them, and you will too.

In fact - it probably did me good that i had to put on a brave face all the time!!! It means you don't give in to your fears

I also saw my GP before i went for something to take on the flight - think it was vallium? She gave it to me but i never even needed to take it - i just distracted myself and got through it

I also got comprehensive travel insurance for peace of mind as i too panicked about becoming ill over there - i think i paid about £30 but it covered EVERYTHING - including pre existing conditions (and at the time i was having severe ectopic heartbeats so again it was just for peace of mind!)

Just take the plunge and do it - I've always maintained that i'd rather force myself into situations that make me uncomfortable but get me out there and actually living my life than sitting in my house and watching the world go by without me!!

xx

[Darren1]

Hi,

It's been a while since I posted here. I've been managing alright with my health anxiety the past few weeks. I've started seeing a new psychologist and she's very good. The problem is, it's coming up to 'holiday' time, and I'm stuck in a predicament and just wondering if anyone can give me some advice. It's not necessarily a health anxiety post, but health anxiety is one of the problems.
My friends have booked to go to Turkey on 6th June and stay in my friends villa. They've asked me to come, but I really don't know what to and I'm finding the whole thing very stressful.
I'm scared of the flight for a start, terrified in fact. Not only to I worry about the general functionality of planes, but I worry incase I get ill or something on the plane. So that's the first problem. Then when I actually get there I worry about being ill when I'm there. I worry about the having to go out for drinks part because of the hangover the next day. I can deal with it at home, because it's home. Plus my friends will notice. When I'm away I become a totally different person. Everything is a worry.
My question is, should I be forcing myself to go? I am SICK of my anxiety problems stopping me having a life. I am so envious of just about everyone I know because of their carefree attitude to everything. I can't even bring myself to book the thing. The lady I have been seeing says yes I should go, as a sort of exposure. But I just don't know if I can. I would rather go away with my boyfriend because he knows all of my problems and I can talk to him if I'm panicking. I wouldn't talk like that to my friends so I'd be kind of stuck in that awful feeling. My last holiday was with my boyfriend, which I totally ruined for both of us. I had an ulcer, which I was very worried about. I took a photo of it every day to check the size. I barely ate or drank. I came home 6lbs lighter after an all inclusive holiday. That's how bad it can be. Holidays for me can actually be more stressful and anxiety provoking than anything else, completely defeating the object. It's like spending money to feel absolutely awful. Nobody would do that!
Does anyone else feel this way or have any advice on what I should do?
Thankyou.

Hi LE

Do any of your friends know? Could you talk to them before hand?

As for the flight, why don't you try and get some diazapam off the doctors? I'm sure that would help you get through the flight and might actually give you a good calm start to the holiday.

Have you thought about the positives of going on this holiday?
Being in a new country, spending time with friends, trying new food, getting a sun tan!

Im not sure why you are worried about getting a hangover?

[LF87]

Thank you both for your replies
Andromeda, it's good to know you got through it having the same worries as me! I just keep putting off booking it because once I've done it I'm trapped into it. I went on a big girls holiday a few years ago, it was a hen do in Salou. I got through it but I did find elements of it very hard. What troubles me more about this is, they've all booked the flights separately. This worries me, because I like to know everything is sorted, like seats and all that sort of stuff. The uncertainty at the airport and possibility of sitting alone makes it a lot harder! I'm getting a bit pestered to book quickly now too, because they need to sort out transfers to the villa. You're so right about letting everything pass you by. That's exactly what I'll feel I've done, (again), if I don't go. Did you panic immediately after booking? Because I think that's how I'm going to be. That worries me too, incase I'm a depressed worried mess for the next few weeks.
Darren, my friends know I'm afraid of flying and know about my HA and other anxieties to some extent, but they have no idea of the enormity of it. I just text my friend saying could I go along to hers to book so I can't just keep closing the flight booking page. Her response was, I'm busy with revision this week, just get it done because we need to sort transfers. You don't need me to book. Which to be honest has peeved me a bit because she of all people knows the most how it affects me. Thought it was a little harsh. So now I'm thinking even more to just sack it off and say home! There are positives, and a good chance I will enjoy some of the holiday, but the scary bits are far outweighing the good. The hangover thing is because they're going to want to go on nights out etc, which is fine, but I worry too much about hangovers because my anxiety sky rockets. I can deal with it at home, but away I think I'd have a meltdown!
I'm debating what to do... Should I just book it? I can't imagine myself there, and when I do I can imagine myself thinking 'why on EARTH did you think this was going to be a good idea'.

[Serenity1990]

Ok let me just start by saying I'm going through the same stuff at the moment. I'm off to my pesonal paradise in two weeks time for 20 days, which is a twelve hour flight.

Now I don't like flying as a rule. I've done quite a bit of it, short haul around Europe and long haul. Generally I prefer long haul because the bit I don't like is take off and landing, and with long haul once the take off is done with you can get into watching the in-flight entertainment, have a few glasses of bubbly and forget you're flying at all.

It also brings me some solace to realise that it's statistically the safest way to travel. Safer than walking, driving, taking the bus, taxi, train, tram, boat or whatever. So rationally if I'm not panicking when pootling along at 100mph on the motorway I shouldn't be panicking in a plane.

I'm also worried about getting ill on the plane. My first panic attack was on a flight in December, and I thought I was dying. That was only a one hour short hop so I'm terrified about a twelve hour flight!

However I'm determined to enjoy it, get there, float in the gorgeous sea and give my nervous system the rest is so badly deserves. I'd like this holiday to be the point that flips things round for me, and so Im determined to do it. Maybe if you adopted a similar stance it would help?

[ecila92]

I'm the exact same. I'm going to Berlin with my boyfriend in June but I'm just constantly worried, I have a few health anxiety problems that I want to get rid of first before I go on holiday otherwise I know I wont enjoy it.

I'm scared of the plane & having a panic attack mid flight, I'm scared of being in a foreign country, I'm scared of getting ill, I'm scared of getting stabbed/killed. It's all silly stuff but I'm just that worrier.

[LF87]

Serenity, I would definitely benefit from setting my stall out to just do it and enjoy. It's just having the guts to actually get the laptop on and book it at the moment. It's causing me so much stress, it's like a battle going on in my head! On the one hand, the thought of going gives me a small surge of good butterflies, which is quickly trashed by visualising those plane doors shutting and being committed to the whole thing. Not just the flight, but the whole holiday. I have to do a lot of acting when I'm with friends sometimes too, so they don't know I'm anxious or panicking, which is incredibly draining.
I generally don't like being away from home in general, unless I'm with my boyfriend. So that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Ecila, sounds like you're in the same boat too. I let health anxiety ruin my last holiday over an ulcer as I mentioned in my other posts. I got home and it went away and I am still kicking myself for getting so stressed over it. It's just so annoying we let these nasty thoughts invade everything.
I guess I don't like being removed from my comfort zone at all. But we are supposed to challenge this aren't we?

[luc]

I could have wrote this post, that is the bit about the pressure of everything being right and HA not spoiling the holiday. For me it's with my hubby and kids. Can you talk to any of your 'happy go lucky friends' as they might let their mask slip!

[LF87]

I probably could talk to them if I needed to but I always choose not to. I just think they wont u understand and I'll sound stupid.
I think I do want to book it and go. Why can't I bring myself to just do it!

[Andromeda]

Because you're letting your anxiety control you.

You need to ask yourself, if you didn't have anxiety would you go? And i'm sure the answer would be yes!
One positive to having anxiety is that we do have excellent coping mechanisms in difficult situations i.e we prepare ourselves for the worst so we can cope at times of stress. I take comfort in this little fact knowing that i've coped this long before now and will continue to cope with whatever comes my way! you will too!

You will handle anything that's thrown and you over there and i'm sure that when you relax and stop dwelling on the negative you will have an amazing time.

Family are only ever a phonecall away if you need to hear a friendly voice!

Running away from your fears only reinforces negative behaviour - do something crazy and leave your comfort zone - even if you dont enjoy it at least you'll have accomplished somethig, the only regrets you should have are the chances you didn't take!! Don't have those regrets!