feeling horrible

[halfwayhome]

My boyfriend is a music teacher at a high school and twice a year they put on concerts. I always go - haven't missed one in three years, but the one tomorrow.. I really don't feel like I can go to. My anxiety is really bad, and I'm still getting terrifying physical symptoms. Even though I've been told that they're related to my anxiety, I have a hard time believeing it. So, I asked him how he would felt if I skipped this one. He said it would be okay and he understood and I know he means it.. but I still feel really really horrible. I feel like I should just 'suck it up' and go anyway.. I feel like a horrible unsupportive girlfriend.

And more than that, I'm terrified. When my doctor gave me my Celexa, and Ativan, my panic attacks practically stopped. My anxiety over all seems a lot more under control - so WHY THEN do I still have these really scary symptoms of sensations down the right side of my body? My anxiety feels BETTER.. but the symptoms are, if anything, getting STRONGER.. :( I hate this. I'm so SO scared.

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

xoxox

[halfwayhome]

Also.. the numbness in half my face went away.. so.. if the arm & leg were anxiety as well.. wouldn't they have gone away too?? :( :(

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

xoxox

[ceecee]

hi i can totally relate to how you are feeling!i,ve got my daughters xmas carol service this afternoon and ive got to stand in a hot,stuffy hall for 2 hours i,m in such a state about it as i always panic when i,m up the school(i always associate it with panic)so its going to be a very long 2 hours!!!!don,t get me wrong i love seeing my children do things like this but since i,ve had anxiety,i dread them!just wish i could be like all the other mums!!!!
i don,t really have much advice but just know that you are certainly not alone
take care
rach x

[sandie]

Halfwayhome

My son is coming home from uni tonight with his girlfriend. I had a really good night's sleep last night - the best for ages and started the day very positive, but just a few hours into the day I'm already feeling a little bit jittery about his visit.

Last night I kept telling my PAs to "Get Lost", I've been doing it all morning too, I think it does help. Your boyfriend won't mind if you don't go to the concert, but you will - tell your anxiety to "Bu**er off".

Ceecee

Good luck with the carol concert - 2 hours is a heck of a long time. If you can tell your PAs to "Bu**er Off" too, then that would be great - probably best not say it out loud!!

Keep us posted as to how you both get on.

Sandie

[ceecee]

lol thanks sandie i just wish i could go now and get it over and done with!!!!!!!
take care
rach x

[ceecee]

hi i got through it ok had jelly legs etc but seeing my little girl singing made it worthwhile!!!!!
take care
rach x