OK, so I've been off work for almost 4 months battling with what was initially an isolated incident; a single panic attack that freaked me out and caused me to leave work halfway through the day... I am on long-term sick and have yet to return to work.
Several months later, and I feel like I'm in the thick of it. So many symptoms have come and gone in this amount of time; symptoms I have never had in my life before, and feelings about myself, my mortality and well-being, that I have never contemplated, until now. Paramedics have been called, I've thought I've had heart attacks, strokes, hypoglycemia, hypertension, the list goes on..
Physical Symptoms
These are currently the physical symptoms I feel regularly. Some of this may seem very unusual but please read through!
Every time I blink in my right eye I see a quick flash of veins in front of me.
I keep getting vein pulses appear in my right eye's peripheral vision
I keep getting 'visual snow' when I move suddenly or lie upright in bed.
I have visible veins in whites of my eyes (don't think I had these before).
My head feels tight and heavy. Neck is stiff.
My arms/hands 'pulse' and frequently when I look the veins are really pronounced. As if there is a circulation issue/high BP.
I am dizzy or 'aloof' 24/7. I don't feel connected to the world, almost as if I'm in a bubble or a thin layer of film is over me/caught in a spider's web.
Every time I use a computer or focus to read I feel queezy and struggle to continue.
Regular 'pressure' headaches / migraines (at least 1 a week). This has been the case for about 12 months. They started two years ago but have gradually become more frequent.
What I Think This Means..
I have a brain tumour
I have spinal fluid leaks
I have extremely high blood pressure
I have a slipped disc/spinal nerve issue
I have some sort of autoimmune disease
I have labyrinthitis
What I DO Know..
I have had blood tests; I am not diabetic, I do not have any vitamin deficiencies, Triglyceride levels all OK, Thryoid OK. Cholesterol level is perfect (don't need another cholesterol check for 10 years). Only concern was my 'inflammation' level was slightly high, they suggest maybe I have another test in 6 weeks time, what could this mean?
Blood pressure is considered 'slightly high/high' but have not been forced medication.
I have had my eyes checked, eye pressure in both eyes is fine, and no noticable physical issues with my eyes.
Apart from getting a CT scan or going crazy, is this REALLY all just a symptom of anxiety/depression? Except for the migraines/slight queezyness on the computer I had NONE of these symptoms less than 4 months ago.
What I Keep Thinking
Something is wrong with me that hasn't yet been picked up.
I need to have every possible diagnostic test to rule every illness/ailment out.
I fear death, and constantly think I will die very soon because my fear is all these tests will be clear, and I will have to live with these symptoms.
Forgive me for the rant, I ask if anybody else on this forum has been in a similar position? I also now think I am agoraphobic, not to the extent that I won't leave the house, but I always wonder what's going to set me off next.
I just can't believe that this is all in my head, I just can't...
(If Mods feel this is better suited in the Health Anxiety forum that is fine).
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