Help...its happening again. thoughts

[missinsane]

Hi Everyone,

Brief history.. I was diagnosed with depression in 2009 when I was 19. Which after a lengthy course of fluoxitine was soon realised this was due to OCD and health anxiety, to which I was prescribed 200mg of sertraline.

Been on those now for over a year.

I have just moved in with my boyfriend at 24, and every night I cannot stop crying leaving my mmums after visiting is heartbreaking. And until the crying is over and the anxiety attack is over i dont even want to look at my boyfriend.

I keep having debilitating thoughts of leaving him, I think its because my mind is trickin me into thinking ill be able to go home and hide then.

I have recently come off a long haul flight. Which with all the change could be a major contributing factor. Also I am currenrtl currently on estrogen form of contraception.

Its just like sertraline isn't going below the surface anymore. Its not curbing the symptoms. And my boyfriend who I love is bearing the brunt. I was in love a month ago... What hhappened?

Has anyone had this reaction before to massive change/jet lag/hormonal contraception?

This site is the only one where I feel like I'm not alone.

I hope I'm not this evening!

Thank you x

[Cambrian49]

I've had similar thoughts and it's all to do with being out of your comfort zone and wanting to feel safe. I've lived away from home for nearly 10 years and even now I have moments where I just want to pack up and go to my mum's house and I'm a mum myself with a wonderful fiancé. I also get these feelings when something big happens like when I had my daughter I got her home and thought "God, what have I done take her back!" Same happened when we got our new pup!! It's just anxiety over change xxx