NMP Book Club: The first rule of Book Club...

[AnxietyDJ]

OK... So a few discussion topics before we move into the group discussion... Look forwards to hearing what you guys thought

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Topic 1
What did you make of Gus hiding his illness from Hazel... Was that the right thing to do?

Topic 2
Hazel (and Gus) hate(d) the stereotypical eulogies and comments made about someone after they pass away... Do you agree with this? Should people be more honest?

Topic 3
The book has many ups and downs... Which part made you happiest and which part made you saddest and why?
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Thanks guys!

[Jacsta]

Topic 1
What did you make of Gus hiding his illness from Hazel... Was that the right thing to do?

Depends on which side you look at it from. To find out that you do not have much time will start a grieving process for that person…and at the end of the day if Gus wanted to enjoy a sympathy free holiday with the person he loves before the whole world changes for him then who are we to judge?
There is also the trust thing though, because as we find out, Hazel deals with the news better than most other people…she sticks with him, and they continue to enjoy their little quirky conversations and views on life.
For Hazel…I think she understood…because maybe she knows it is probably something she would do…and can see a lot of what he is feeling as she has felt it herself, so yes she was a little hurt that he didn’t share straight away…but his reasons were pure.

Topic 2
Hazel (and Gus) hate(d) the stereotypical eulogies and comments made about someone after they pass away... Do you agree with this? Should people be more honest?

It’s that thing about grief again…people deal with it differently. Hazel was in a unique (and unfortunate) situation that she had thought about death and the effect it has on others…so again I think she understands what people need maybe more than they do. I personally don’t like funerals…because they try to involve every that was involved in a persons life…we all change , and the longer we live the more people we encounter and share experiences with. Experiences shared can be personal and time specific…so like with the friends from school and basketball…yes by the time gus died heh hated basketball….but when he played he probably felt in his limelight, and shared happy memories with those who played with him.
So yea…honesty is a tough one…and funerals are naff anyway..

Topic 3
The book has many ups and downs... Which part made you happiest and which part made you saddest and why?

The parts that made me smile the most were probably when Hazel, Gus and Issac were all together….that group of personalities just worked and their honest but funny outlook on things always made me smile…because they were all going through thing that no teenager could go through…and their honesty made others feel uncomfortable…but together…they were able to bounce off each other and express themselves….that was lovely to see.
The saddest point for me was the prefuneral leading to the death of Gus…I think it was written well as it happened so quick taking my emotions with it (yes I cried)….I knew that it was coming, yet the shock of death was still there…as it is in real life..

I really enjoyed this book and have also been to cinema to see the film (which I also liked)….long may book club take me to new levels of thought and conclusions…

[swgrl09]

What did you make of Gus hiding his illness from Hazel... Was that the right thing to do?

I think in this case, it was the right thing to do. She was able to really enjoy living in the moment with him. He told her after, so he didn't really hide it until the end. At the same time, I also thought it was interesting that when Hazel wanted to protect him from her illness, he said he was committed and in it. However, it seemed like for a brief time he did not give Hazel the chance to do the same. I think I still have to think about this for a little. I'd like to see what others say.

Hazel (and Gus) hate(d) the stereotypical eulogies and comments made about someone after they pass away... Do you agree with this? Should people be more honest?

I think they acted this way for a couple reasons ... one of which being their age and immaturity, another being a way of possibly lightening this very real fate for them. If they make jokes about it, maybe it feels more distant and less real.


The book has many ups and downs... Which part made you happiest and which part made you saddest and why?

Happiest - When they had dinner in Amsterdam (obviously!!) ... I did have a sense of foreboding because there were hints that Gus was in pain, but it was nice seeing them have their dream come true.

Saddest - Two parts come to mind:

The first was when Gus and Hazel realized what a jerk Peter Van Houten was (although eventually sort of redeemed?). The book was sooo central to their bond and this was something that both of them had dreamed about. So that was sad for me, especially when the two of them had to walk out of his home.

But honestly, the other saddest part was the end where the book details Gus's declining health. Especially when Hazel finds Gus in his car at the gas station. It hit really hard for me personally because it brought up the memories of my mom dying of cancer. I'm sure people who have lost loved ones to cancer can attest - it is not pretty, it is not graceful. It tears your heart out to watch somebody lose their dignity and fade away literally into nothing. So maybe it struck a cord with me a little too much. But I appreciated that the book did not sugar coat it, like some do. It was very real.

[Elen]

Topic 1
What did you make of Gus hiding his illness from Hazel... Was that the right thing to do?
As has already been said this was a once in a lifetime trip for them both. I am not surprised that Gus hid his illness until it was over. I don’t feel that ithere is any right or wrong about it, he did what he felt was best, both for himself and for Hazel. They are both experienced in covering up the extent of their hurt and their fear that his behavior was only to be expected.
Topic 2
Hazel (and Gus) hate(d) the stereotypical eulogies and comments made about someone after they pass away... Do you agree with this? Should people be more honest?
On this I couldn’t agree more. I hate the social platitudes that are meant to rule our lives. Why should someone become a hero simply because they are dead. It happens to us all so in itself does not make us special. If you love someone show them while they are alive and don’t wait for them to die to decide that they were special. The fought bravely etc is a load of tosh from people who don’t really know the person involved. This differs from supporting people who were close to the dead person. I believe that there is a huge difference. And yes people should be honest. Nothing wrong with being polite but there is no need for people being two faced and false.

Topic 3
The book has many ups and downs... Which part made you happiest and which part made you saddest and why?
I too enjoyed the dinner in Amsterdam but the bit that really tickled me was the discussion regarding scrambled egg being consigned forever to being a breakfast food. It is the kind of nonsense that appeals to me and one that I could run with for quite a while.
The saddest part I think was Issac having a meltdown in the basement. Although Gus dying etc was extremely sad I feel that at least it was all over for him and Hazel has the tools to cope. Issac however was in such a wretched state that nothing and no one could reach him. Perhaps I am sad that chances are that he will live on.

[AnxietyDJ]

Topic 1
What did you make of Gus hiding his illness from Hazel... Was that the right thing to do?

I agree with everyone else; on this occasion I would most likely have done what Gus did (not that I really have a clue about what he was going through at the time). I mean, we've all said we felt fine for someone else's sake in the past, haven't we? And sadly for him, it was maybe the one last time he knew he could spend a happy time with just him and Hazel (and her mum ), without their illnesses looming over them and dictating their lives (although obviously it always loomed over them - and even more so for Gus at this particular time).

Topic 2
Hazel (and Gus) hate(d) the stereotypical eulogies and comments made about someone after they pass away... Do you agree with this? Should people be more honest?
On this I couldn’t agree more. I hate the social platitudes that are meant to rule our lives. Why should someone become a hero simply because they are dead. It happens to us all so in itself does not make us special. If you love someone show them while they are alive and don’t wait for them to die to decide that they were special. The fought bravely etc is a load of tosh from people who don’t really know the person involved. This differs from supporting people who were close to the dead person. I believe that there is a huge difference. And yes people should be honest. Nothing wrong with being polite but there is no need for people being two faced and false.

^ This ^ Sorry to be lazy, but I totally agree with Elen here.

Topic 3
The book has many ups and downs... Which part made you happiest and which part made you saddest and why?

There were a lot of great moments and a lot of sad ones, but I have to give an obvious answer and say that for me, the final pages of the book - where Hazel reads Gus's letter to Van Houten - contained both the happiest and saddest elements, in my opinion. Hazel had one final moment with Gus and his summary of how and why he loved her so much was incredibly moving - one of these happy/sad moments where you laugh and cry at the same time (at least I did!). To see how much he loved her and she him was very powerful, but very tragic at the same time, knowing that they could never see how far it would lead them.

[AnxietyDJ]

Hi guys... Very short notice (my fault!), but would you all be around for the group discussion at 7.30pm this evening, on Skype?

[Jacsta]

sure

[Elen]

cya then

[yvonne_uk_98]

sorry I wont be around. will try for next time.

[AnxietyDJ]

OK guys, so the time has come to move onto book number two... Do we have anyone here that particularly wants to choose the next book?

Be great if we can have the choice sorted by tomorrow, so we can begin reading by the start of next week

Thanks!