why cant i just accept this for what it is

[airwolf451]

im really sorry guys, i seem to be going round and round in circles with this

i cant seem to accept this is all just anxiety, and im now afraid to approach my doc and demand more tests.

the same pains are there :- bad tightness and pain down my left side. like a crushing feeling in my ear, tightness down the left side of my neck shoulder, breast and arm, sometimes across my tummy too. its just about bareable, but at times i need pain killers or a diazapam to get me through, and im starting to find it very hard to accept this is all just ANXIETY.

last night i actually thought i was a gonner, and when i woke this morning as soon as my eyes opened there was the feelings again.

and i have to wait 6 months for CBT,

it will a yr to the day this friday when this all started, i feel like i am sounding so negative about myself, which is strange as when it comes to others i am so positive.

i dont want to feel like this anymore, i've had enough, each day thinking this is it this is the day its going to happen ( which it never does) yet no matter how i try the feelings are always there, i just want to curl up and make it all go away.

i actually got out on Saturday night, and as much as i was glad to be out i could still feel the tightness, and that looking through a fish bowl feeling, i feel like im moving backwards, and i cant convince myself that i have what i have,

i feel like i have done damage to my body, eg:- hurt my shoulder, neck, or breast area, and its having a knock on effect. is it possible to have constant tension and pain for a lenghty time, i mean days, weeks months at an end?

is this all anxiety and just in my head?

how to i make myself believe everything they are telling me???????????????????????????????????????????????? ??

[lass]

Hi, sorry you are feeling so bad, but I really do understand. My symptoms aren't all the same as yours (mine tend to be more tummy/bowel related) but I do get the tension you describe. It's hard to believe it's "just" anxiety; sometimes I manage to convince myself for a while, but the slightest thing gets me worrying again.

I don't know what the answer is - only that I'm sure if we could get some respite from the symptoms, then we could probably cope better.

Just wanted to sympathise really. Everyone here knows what you are going through. Have you thought about any relaxation techniques, massage, reiki, hypnosis, anything like that? 6 months is a long time to wait for your CBT.

Best wishes,
Caroline

[Lynnann]

Hi,

I am sorry that you woke up to such a lousy day, it can just be anxiety. Until the anxiety is under control you will not be able to tell if there are any underlying phisical causes.

Are you on any medication from the doctor to try to help your anxiety? Sometimes it can be really beneficial, although it can take time to work out which medication and what dose is best.

I am sure that you will get through this, we will all get through this together!!

Hugs to you

Lynnann

Give yourself a big pat on the back for going out, that took courage to face your fears !

[airwolf451]

thanks guys, its good to know i can turn to you, just an update

went to lay down for a bit and things started to get worse

started to feel funny and still am, like my left side all of its lighter than the other side of me, and things seem a little strange right now, haven't had this feeling in a long time.


feels like my left side is shutting down.
i cant cope today

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Steve, I don't mean to sound so drastic here, I'm just using it as an example, but think of a whip lash injury. For those of us that have been there, the pain is bloody awful, but it's just tension from the force of impact. This is similar to anxiety tension. When we are anxious and panicky we use all the muscles and nerves in our body and they get tired because they are being over-worked, this is where we get our pain from. However, because we have anxiety, we fear the worst of every situation and then health anxiety creeps in. When my panic attacks and anxiety were really bad, I had all the symptoms you are experiencing, every single one of them. Nothing put my mind at rest, and the heart and chest symptoms still scare me now, even though I've been like this for 2 years.

I would see your GP, you shouldn't be afraid to see him. You might not need any tests, but I'm sure any advice or other medication would put your mind at ease.

Les, xx

[tommythomson]

Airwolf

I know exactly how you are feeling. Acceptance is the most difficult thing of all. Ask my psyc nurse! I was always looking for the answer or the cure. I couldn't believe that it was my mind causing all this commotion in my body. IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING SINISTER!!!

Her words to me were that i had stopped living my life and i was living the symptoms. Waiting for the next one to come along.

That was very hard to hear for me! I'm the type of person who will always look for answers and reasoning.

Approach your doc for more assistance - he should know what do do for you. Tell him everything - including your fears!

I was faced with a leap of faith. I just told myself it was the symptoms i had read about, the doc had given me the all clear physically and i looked at my life and the nurse was right - it had stopped.

I gave it a try. Believe the symptoms are just symptoms and don't worry as much. It is very hard and you will still doubt yourself but it is a road that must be travelled. It has got easier for me but i still have to work at it.

I hope you find this helpful. It's what i've been through and it's damn hard.

Self Help For Your Nerves - Dr Claire Weekes is a good book that helped me get my head round acceptance part.

T

[anxious]

Hi Airwolf,
thanks for the chat last night, it so helps to talk to someone who understands.
You can definately have real pain/tension for long periods of time. About 5 years ago i started with pain in my jaw/tongue/neck all on the right side (at the time i had a massive mouth cancer phobia). It got so bad it hurt to talk and eat, the only relief i got was when i was asleep or had a drink. I saw doctors/dentist/ENT consultant and they could find nothing wrong BUT i still had the pain. I ended up with this constant pain for near on 3 years, just learnt to manage it. I still get flare ups now when very anxious/tired etc but not nearly as bad - i spent days in bed crying with pain.
I think it eventually subsided as i accepted it couldnt be anything serious as i had had it so long.
I've recently had a lot of pain in my left side (more or less same areas as you) and it coincides with my recent breast cancer phobia. I'm trying my best to accept its tension and i do notice when i relax it eases.
sorry for waffling,
love anx xx

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[sandie]

Hello stephen

You are so right about being positive for others and being so negative about yourself.

Your chats with me have really lifted my spirits when I have felt very low. As I sit here I feel shivery and I'm hunching my shoulders -making them very tense. As soon as I realise what I'm doing and that it's becoming painful, I relax them - of course I then realise that I'm cold and need to do something about it - exercise or put another layer on. I know you don't leave the house very much (so well done for Sat), but imprisoning ourselves as we do, in its own way can encourage us to focus on the pain/anxiety. (Since yesterday, having to focus on someone else instead of myself, has actually benefitted my sleeping).

I do worry that you have nothing else to focus on - from everything we've chatted about, I know you don't "share" with your family.

I'm sure its pain from anxiety, and that once the root cause is addressed you will be able to deal with it better.

I do feel for you.

Sandie