Brief Introduction and thank you for reading this...I'm currently seeing a therapist @ ocdonline.com (for skype sessions). The ones that are located in NY and work under Dr. Phillip Stevenson...
Been doing it about 2 months have been steadily getting better very slowly. The thing that makes my OCD hard to treat is the way it constantly manifests itself as different forms. Been dealing with it for about 7-8 years now. It's gone from harm ocd, to every time i drive i had urge/thoughts to swerve into traffic, pedophile ocd, homosexuality ocd, feeling evil ocd, schizophrenia ocd (hypochondria has also gone along with OCD to a great extent in the past 4 years...I have had ALS, Cancer, tumors, etc. to the point where I am convinced I have them...will even get psychical symptoms after reading about it.)
I used to have the typical counter OCD images to protect myself. I never knew it was OCD or really what it was, until the past year as I have done more research into the matter.
I can feel myself beating it but for some reason it keeps pulling me back. As almost this terrible anxiety and familiarity is somehow a good thing, or maybe I'm really this monster I envision...and I secretly enjoy these thoughts. I am currently tackling OCD by meditation, CBT (a bit scared to do ERP on harm-ocd), mindfullness, diet (organic foods, no gluten, no diary), supplements (omega-3, vitamin c, multi, inositol powder, b-complex). No alcohol, sugar, caffeine, sweets, etc...
I tried zoloft for 10 days and it made everything 10x worse...thoughts were getting borderline delusional. I've been making significant improvements, but I think I need a mentor (not to give you all too much of an ego-boost...haha) to get over this.
As of currently, I was driving to get lunch and as I was driving Pink Floyd's "Shine on you crazy diamond" came on the radio. Then I think to myself is this a sign?! Then googling goes on and now I'm back in the void of thinking I have schizophrenia...it never ends.
Is accepting the possibility the best way to get over this? To make room for the thoughts and allow them to pass?
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