Scared Of Commitment!!

[d3niro]

Hello..... i have been posting a lot in the G.A.D area.... but i am quite confused to what i'm actually suffering. It seems to be a number of things.
1 of them i know for sure is.....COMMITMENT![:O]
COMMIMITMENT WITH ANYTHING!!
From relationships....to buying a house, to signing contracts. i totally FREAK out at the thought of it. Right now i'm in a relationship, we r just taking it slow... but a few months into it my b/f suggested moving in with me. This was 4 months ago...since that day he asked me....i have not been the same with him. I keep ending the relationship, then regretting i ended it and then get him bk, then ending it again. I don't know what to do, i know i feel like this because he is in my life....so i think to myself.... if this ended my anxiety would be better because i wouldn't have him to worry about. But at the same time....the fear is beating me....so i try to fight it by stayin with him and beating this fear once and for all...but its cripling me.

Also another Commitment things is.... Buying from a catalouge... Recently my phone broke....so i was about to shop online for a new phone...but for some reason couldn't select the checkout button. i had the phone all selected....but the thought of actually saying yes ans then freaky out because that it...its mine i HAVE to pay for that. What if i lost my job? what if i couldn't afford to pay for it? what if i got it and i didn't like it? So i didn't select check out cos i didn't want the commitment of paying for it.

Saying i'll do something for someone too and then as soon as i say "yes sure i'll help you"
I FREAK out because i know i said yes and they will be relying on me.
Is this quite normal? is this somethng therapy might help with?

[d3niro]

I guess this one isn't such a popular phobia?
Oh wow its only me that fears commitment ....GREAT[V]

[Pebble]

I would say it's just a symptom of anxiety. Anxiety makes your mind tired and that leads to indecision, insecurity, wanting to be in control, of your anxiety and life situations.

And when you have to commit to something that means you feel like you are signing a contract. And that means that you have no control of the outcome because you feel "tied-in" to it. You feel you have to carry on with something that you might not be able to escape from it if you needed to. Or you might be waiting for something that lies in the future and you panic about it coming and wonder if it will go wrong when it arrives and how it will make you feel.

I think its just all part of anxiety.I have lived in my own place for a few
years and being unfurnished I have had to buy all sorts of furniture and stuff. But I found that very difficult because I felt like I was tying myself down by buying furniture. Each time I bought something big or that cost a lot I would worry about it, thinking that if anything happened with my anxiety, if it got worse and I had to move out then having more things would be a burden and I'd have to take them with me and that would be difficult and so on. Or if I've had to to wait for something in the future then I have worried about it coming, counting down the days and it is always on my mind, thinking what if it goes wrong.

But I am getting better with it. I realise it is just a tired mind and just thoughts and I try to watch the thoughts and realise it's anxiety and indecision speaking. For a year or more I put off buying things for the flat and didn't live in comfort. I now realise that it's not living to the full to put off buying nice things, because live is about enjoying things.

I would say try and enjoy buying things, enjoy being with your boyfriend. Understand that your "what if" thoughts are just your anxiety. Understand that if you did buy something and didn't like it you could send the item it back or get a different one. If you don't like something you can always change it. If you lost your job you could get another one. Or if you were too unwell to work you would get help with paying bills anyway. Or someone would probably help you out. In the end, things always work out okay you just can't see through the fog of the anxiety thoughts.

Hope that helps,
Pebble. x