a question..

[sassy]

hi, i suffer from anxiety/panic/depression..i have been using this site on and off for a year or so and am doing well to combat most of the above thus far thanks to this site.
however..i am desperate for advice and feel very low at this moment, but im not sure i can ask advice for low self esteem issues on here? please can someone let me know? i really need to talk and dont know if low self esteem and severe lack of confidence is an apropriate topic or not.
thanks
xx

[rozie]

Hi Sassy

Think we've all been there at one time or another.
What's been troubling you exactly?

[keepemlaughing]

I too suffer from a severe case of low self esteem. It has plagued me for most of my life, if not all. I only felt good about myself for a 10 year period when i was married to my last husband. The marriage was horrible, but just having someone who was showing the world he wanted to be married to me gave me self validity. I looked better at that time than i ever have. Now that I am alone, I take little pride in how I look. It is as if I have given up. I work full time, I am raising 3 grandchildren, and i am 2 years into recovery from drugs and alcohol. But, i am 50 lbs over weight and don't even try to do anything about it.
I know that you wrote this post asking a question, and I apologize for talking about myself. I just knew exactly what you were talking about and could relate totally.
Glad that you found this site. It is helping me too.


Sheryl

Why stay in prison when the door is wide open?

[Piglet]

Yes self-esteem issues are totally related to anxiety and we have millions of posts on just that subject - I'm sure one of the other admins will dig some out for you (I'm not so hot on technology so I stay away from pressing buttons that may delete the forum lol ).

Also I do hope Nigel reads this thread as he always has such reassuring stuff to say on this sort of thing.

In the meantime I have a couple of little suggestions of my own - firstly I love affirmation cards, Louise Hay does some nice ones which you can get from Amazon or www.holisticshop.co.uk. I pick out the ones that mean something to me and look at them everyday or use them as my current bookmark.

We say enough negative rubbish to ourselves on a daily basis and that doesn't make us feel good, so I figure if we reverse that trend and say good stuff then it must have the opposite effect!!

Secondly I rather like a self-esteem cd by Glenn Harrold that I got again off Amazon - you may like to look on there and read the reviews.

With a little time and determination you can do an awful lot in little ways to make yourself feel better about yourself!!!

Piglet

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[sassy]

hi, and thank you for your replys.
im a single mum of 4..and i have recently met a wonderful man who ive fallen head over heels in love with.
my problem? i always seem to be on self destruct mode. i have such a low opinion of myself that i find when im on a downer, i push him away.
my main issue is my body. i am not large, medium id say. but having 4 children has obviously taken its toll and to say my body makes me feel physicaly sick is an understatement. tonight i had a bath and just looked at myself and cried..im not being paranoid, my body is terrible and i dont want him to see it ever :( so i figured that if i feel like this then why am i seeing him? surely its best to end it before things do get to that stage? yet i love him to bits and know he loves me. im 32 so this sounds ridiculous, but i feel so bad, so disgusting and ugly. im also getting a little obsessed about my weight and know im losing it too quick..i cant tell him how i feel as he knows im a complete worrier and this might make him run fast. i try to do the positive thinking, i try to say he loves me no matter what (which i know he does) but i cant seem to change what i feel. i feel i need help but dont know who to turn to.
i just dont know what to do..i feel like a prat for writing this but i dont know who else to tell lol

[feels_like_home]

Hi,
I thought you might like this quote.
"Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment."
Try making goals for yourself. Start small and celebrate each time you accomplish one. I'm sure this will help you start to feel better. Have patience with yourself. Never forget that you are a mother and have been given 4 precious gifts. You are perfect to them. Don't forget that. I am here if you need to talk.
Take care,
Michelle