is there anyone I can talk to please?

[Shammy]

I am on my livingroom floor in tears and do not know what to do

I am very agrophobic and have not left my house in about three months. I cannot work at the moment. Today I managed to walk to the corner shop today and made it back just in time to have a panic attack.

My mum then rang me and told me how much of a failure I was because I didnt even try to visit her as well and how selfish I am because I never visit anymore.

She laid it on to me quite thick how I will never be able to work again and how I am not trying to get better.

She kept shouting how other people have it so much worse and I am being pathetic and mollycoddling myself too much.

I just feel so lost and I cannot stop crying. I feel like such a ****ing failure. I am 23 this year and feel like I have ruined my own life with my anxiety and every day my mum rings me to remind me of this.

She even slagged my therapist off saying that my money is going to waste and "what does she do exactly" my therapist has helped me tremendously and I have managed to do more things with my anxiety because of her. how ****ing dare she slag her off!

[Moley]

Well first of all a big welldone for going out to the shop that is a huge step and be proud of yourself for that don't let your mum ruin it for you.

My mum is similar in regards to not understanding therapy. I have been seeing my therapist for 2 years and I do more now than I use to but she doesn't see this and thinks that I am just wasting money too. I am afraid I haven't got any advice on how to deal with your mum. I just wanted you to know that your not alone and to let you know that after reading your post I want you to focus on the positive of the fact ythat you went out and only you did that no one else. so be proud and keep on making progress.

[Lucinda07]

Parents are like this sometimes. They think if they scold & kick your backside there will be an improvement! But it is better to encourage & support!
Its rather melodramatic & far fetched to say you won't work again - you're only 23!
There's plenty of time.
Could you not answer your mom's phone calls? She may be worried & frustrated but- an angry critical tirade isn't very constructive.
You had a successful visit to the local shop! Plan to do that again & it will become a little easier. Give yourself a treat afterwards! You've earned it!

[Shammy]

Parents are like this sometimes. They think if they scold & kick your backside there will be an improvement! But it is better to encourage & support!
Its rather melodramatic & far fetched to say you won't work again - you're only 23!
There's plenty of time.
Could you not answer your mom's phone calls? She may be worried & frustrated but- an angry critical tirade isn't very constructive.
You had a successful visit to the local shop! Plan to do that again & it will become a little easier. Give yourself a treat afterwards! You've earned it!

My mum rings me three times a day and I always answer .

[Janey86]

I'm pretty sure I responded to another post of yours a few weeks ago.

You should feel really proud of yourself for going to the shops today. You haven't been out in three months, and you managed to go to the corner shop today? That's really positive.

I said this in the other thread, but your parents really aren't helping your condition here. Their lack of support is quite staggering. Is there any way you can take a 'time out' from the calls for a couple of days? I think this would really help clear your mind and get back on to a positive track.

Please try not to listen to your parents, come to this forum instead.

[Carnation]

Hi Shammy.
First of all; WELL DONE! You are trying and you made a real Big effort.
Secondly, I totally get it with the Mum thing. I too have the same problem. She calls me three times a day; every day, with nothing to say. She doesn't understand my illness and thinks Therapists are a waste of time and money.
So, you are not the only on, so don't take it personally.
It is also possible that your Mum's behavior is partly responsible for the way you are today. A bit of controlling and putting down. Yes, I have that too. I turn left, I should have turned right. If I don't do anything; I'm lazy, if I do too much; I'm over doing it. I get abuse, manipulating and sulks. She puts the phone down on me regularly and if I don't phone her, she says I don't love her.
So, what I do now is put myself first. I am not a baby and I have my own mind and Life. If she puts the phone down, I don't bother phoning her back. If she starts moaning, I just ignore it. If she needs something and I am busy; I tell her to ask a neighbor/friend to help. Otherwise she will run you in to the ground and make yourself ill. Don't try and explain to her about your illness, she will never understand even if you tell her one hundred times. It's easier to say you have a Migraine. Keep the Therapist private between the two of you. Concentrate on yourself and if you can fit your Mum in your own time, you won't feel so pressured.
You will feel guilty and want support, but believe me, I have never got it and she still doesn't understand what I am going through. I know she's your Mum, but she is upsetting you and you love your Mum, because that's the way it is, but you have to change things slightly to improve your Life. Good Luck.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Definately stick with your therapist and talk to him/her about the impact that your family is having on you because this is going to eat away at self confidence, self worth & self esteem which undermines the work done in therapy.

Honestly, I've always hated this "other people have it harder" crap. We could say that to anyone who ever complains, raises an issue, doesn't like the taste of something, etc. Put it on the world stage and see how little us Westerners have to complain or perhaps put it on the historical stage and bring in those naughty Huns. Its irrelevant & ignorant.

The worst thing you can is listen to this because no one knows what will happen and its not helpful to be writing yourself off when there is every chance that you will get better and live a fulfilling life.

[Shammy]

now my mum is now threatening to take me out my house back to hers and ban my partner from seeing me

She keeps telling me I am a failure.

I have TOLD her I am suffering from depression but she wont listen.

She is calling me lazy and worthless because I cant get out of bed some days and says I should have the house spotless

kill me now. please.

I cant cope with her ringing me three times a day making me feel like shit

[Bea.2014]

You're 23, you're under no obligation to speak to her if she's making you feel bad!

[Shammy]

You're 23, you're under no obligation to speak to her if she's making you feel bad!

She is posting stuff on facebook now to make me look bad because I have not contacted her within the last 24 hours.

So even though I have cut contact she will still find a way to get to me such as witholding information about other family members or not telling me news or emergencies ect.