Hey Guys,
I want to share with you all something that has helped me a lot and I hope it can also help you guys!!
By not trying to overcome your anxiety, by not making so much effort to beat it, to battle against it you give your mind and body respite and the chance to calm down.
Anxiety is horrible, isnīt it? You get strange physcial symptoms. The mental and emotional sensations. Feelings of unreality, confusion and so on.
They are alarming and unpleasant to experience. We just want them to stop. We want to run away, turn our backs to them. We donīt want to experience these unpleasant feelings.
We do this by agitating, by trying to make sense out of how we feel, and by tensing against symptoms and feelings. We feel like we must do something to help ourselves. Wouldnīt it be foolish if we didnīt. We feel horrible, we are suffering, so we must do something about it. We must fight this thing, and get back to how we used to feel.
With the anxious thoughts we try to debate with them. To find solutions. To resolve them, in an attempt to make them stop.
We canīt just do nothing. We canīt just let the feelings and anxious thoughts come over us and be aloof to them. To the point as if they werenīt even there. We must stand guard and protect ourselves. Be aware of ourselves should the unpleasant symptoms or feelings suddenly come unannounced. If we lose awareness we feel that something bad may happen. That we may lose control.
But is this really the case? If we were to let go, both in body and mind, to switch off, and lose awareness, or at least reduce it, then would we really lose control?
When we get absorbed in an activity, if even for a moment, such as watching a movie in the cinema, when concentrating on our work, or even sleeping, then in these moments are we not switching off? And does anything bad happen?
Do we lose control? Does the anxiety and panic with itīs strange and unpleasant symptoms and sensations take control of us? Does anything bad happen in these moments?
Of course not! In fact, just the opposite. In these moments we feel relaxed, at peace, and even enjoy how we feel as we forget about ourselves and switch off from our constant self analysis.
So wouldnīt this be a better approach to take when we feel anxious instead of trying to fight against how we feel, instead of trying to work out our anxious thoughts, instead of trying to make the unpleasant feelings, symptoms and sensations go away.
Iīm not suggesting that you try to run away or ignore how you feel by thinking of something else, or trying to get your mind distracted in some other activity. This doesnīt work. You canīt consciously forget something. Try not think of a purple elephant for example! You simply canīt try to force yourself to forget about something!
But you can accept it!
Let it be there. Let it happen. And stop trying to get rid of it.
Ever have the experience of a car alarm going off outside your house? There are two things you could do. You could get angry, annoyed and agitated. Thinking to yourself, ĻWhat idiot has done this?Ļ, ĻWhen is the owner going to come back?Ļ, ĻWhen is this noise going to stop?Ļ Thinking like this would get you worked up. Youīd feel anxious, and unable to relax with this noise pesting you.
Youīd find it difficult to do whatever you were doing. If you were watching TV you wouldnīt be able to enjoy it. You be thinking when is this noise going to end. If you were working you wouldnīt be able to concentrate on what it is your doing.
But there is another option! You could accept that it is outside of your conscious control. Only the owner or the car can stop the noise, or the battery can die making it stop. Itīs outside of your control. What good would it do you by getting annoyed, angry and agitated? What good would it do you by trying to do anything about it?
Isnīt it much more sensible to not do anything, to stop getting annoyed at it, and accept that itīs happening?
And itīs the same with anxiety! For how long have we been trying to Ļdo somethingĻ about it? To work it out. To fight against it. To tense against the symptoms and feelings. To try and control how we feel. To try and consciously change how we feel. And to what result?
We feel more anxious, more tired and exhausted.
Why not change your approach and try to not do anything. Try to let whatever is happening happen, without getting involved, without interfering. Control your need to do something. Control your impulse to fight it. Simply let it be. Leave it to itīs own devices.
This takes practise of course. But hereīs a few suggestions from Drr Claire Weekes on how to do so.
Face how you feel, let yourself experience the feelings and symptoms. Let them come over you and be submissive. Surrender to them. This may sound scary at first but itīs a bluff thinking that something bad will happen if you face your anxiety and feelings of panic. You will see that itīs not some scary monster. But simply a tired body and mind, that been over-stressed, and overworked for quite some time.
Let go of the tight hold you have on yourself. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly and let yourself experience the moment you are in. Let you shoulders, arms, and tummy muscles sag, as if charged with lead. Let go of yourself.
Now after facing how you feel and letting go of your tense hold the next step is to let go in thought. That is to stop trying to conscioulsy change your anxiety, to stop trying to counteract it, to stop trying to improve it. Your conscious mind cannot improve your anxiety, only nature can.
So put your mind into neutral. Let whatever anxiety youīre experiencing happen, and let it happen.
Donīt try to make it better, donīt try to make it worse. Be indifferent. Let it pass over you and go in itīs own time. There is no goal, no objective to attain. Just be, and let however you are feeling be! Itīs like the battle is raging but you are on the sidelines and not taking part.
Find the eye of the storm, as Weekes called it. The symptoms can do whatever they want but you donīt get involved. You are aware of them but you donīt add to it. You control your impulse to do something about it. You neither try to improve your sympotms nor make them worse. You just be.
When you do this you may not see immediate results. It may take a few hours of practise but all the time your emotions will be lessening. Your mind will be calming down, and the flow of adrenaline will decrease, meaning the symptoms will fade.
Letting time pass while you practise this is crucial. Many sufferers expect immediate results and get frustrated when they donīt. Have faith that your practise will bring progress.
Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time!
In the words of Dr Claire Weekes, Ļacceptance is the keystone to recovery!Ļ
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