Just a bit of a rant.
My anxiety is so on and off, I can be okay for a week or two then something suddenly throws me off.
My closest friend at work is hoping to change her shifts which will mean I won't see her at work, at all, if her new hours do change (I also want more hours and to do more day shifts rather than all evenings) and the thought of not seeing her is kinda freaking me out, and thrown me right off.
I'm also getting a bit sick of being at home all day before work (I start at 5pm) and not being able to do such small things like pop to the shop, go into town etc as I can't drive yet, I'm learning though and have my second test next month. My anxiety makes me feel panicky being at home too much, I start to feel trapped and claustrophobic. I know that being stuck at home and not being able to drive would frustrate anyone but my anxiety can exaggerate those thoughts and feelings so much! I feel so much better when I'm out my house. I'm over-thinking everything at the moment, I feel a bit out of control with my thoughts - very restless and stressed.
If it wasn't for the anxiety at home I would be fine! As soon as that box in my mind is opened it's then easier for other anxiety-based boxes to open, if you get what I mean? It's an endless cycle.
I spent years being content and happy at home (due to severe SAD and agoraphobia) and now it's the complete opposite - I just want to be out, doing stuff, socializing as much as possible! And the fact I can't do that easily is really annoying the heck out of me!
I woke up so angry and snappy the other day cause all I wanted to do was pop into town and do some food shopping but I had to wait for my dad to be ready and take me but I didn't have time to do everything I wanted before work so that just made me even more angry. When I got to work I just felt so stressed and just wanted to cry.
Gah, I hate anxiety sometimes! I just need to be patient and chill out about things but it's so hard when your mind is jumping from thought to thought!