Desperate

[elik]

Hi guys,

I cannot explain the frustration I am feeling right now. I have been struggling immensely with anxiety over the past few weeks but this has shifted a bit, but now I just feel depressed. NOTHING makes me happy, I always have to find something to worry about and make problems out of nothing and it makes me so sad. For example, I LOVE my boyfriend and he is a great guy but everyday I will find something to make me think 'what if he isn't right for me', 'what if he is making me unhappy' etc, and it makes me want to cry as I cannot live without him and it breaks my heart that I can't just be content with what I have and ENJOY life.

Ellie

[debs71]

Hi Ellie hun,

It does appear to me that you are now suffering depression as well as anxiety.

The two often go hand-in-hand, sadly. Bless you, as I know how hard you have battled with your anxiety lately, and to have this on top is awful.

I had things the other way around years ago. My mental health issues started with depression, and then I developed panic attacks and severe anxiety. My GP told me that this is very common, and one or the other triggers the other (if that makes sense!)

I do understand how you feel. I felt the same (and still do when I am depressed) about the significant people in my life - like a sort of detachment from them or an empty void of emotion or feeling, despite the fact I loved them dearly. This is depression, and it is just as horrible as anxiety for the feelings it hits us with.

I can't remember what your meds regime is hun....I suspect that something is kicking in for you, as (correct me if I am wrong) but you sound a little better in terms of your anxiety. Sometimes when we fight the anxiety for a long time and then start feeling better, the depression takes hold as it like the mind is filled by that gap from anxiety, and a feeling of sheer mental exhaustion.

I am hoping this lifts for you. It should do with time. Stay strong. You have already battled brilliantly with the anxiety.xx

[elik]

Thank you again for your supportive words. Yes, I do feel like they take in turns to take action but get scared that the depressive state brings back the anxiety. I am trying to be strong and let it lift on its own but its so god damn hard, I just want to be happy. I have such a complex brain it never stops!! I have been on various meds but over the last 4 or so years I have been on Sertraline 200mg every day.

Thank you.

Ellie

[jimsmrs]

Hi Ellie

Please don't think of the 'what ifs' otherwise anxiety/depression will feed off it. Try not to look for problems that aren't there in your relationship.

Keep focusing on the positives!!

Take care

[elik]

I know, but I find keeping the 'What If's' away near enough impossible and even when I do, I am filled with deep unhappiness as I feel like I am supressing something and everything's not quite right

Thanks

[jimsmrs]

Have you been ill lately? had a cold or something? Some viruses can bring on anxiety/depression

Take care

[wabbit1]

Hi

I'm awful with the what ifs or always looking at the negatives. I know it's not helpful but I can't fight it.

I'd agree that it could be depression that's making you feel that way about your boyfriend.

[elik]

Thank you for your replies. It's draining me beyond belief I am irritable and exhausted. No I haven't been ill lately. I am making myself ill with this though as not getting any sleep

[laurenn]

I am going through exactly what you are right now so know u are not alone!

[MyNameIsTerry]

It could be the depression that is making you question your relationship as your self confidence, self worth & self esteem will have taken a battering. I'm sure we all go through stages like this with our relationships but its worth determining if it is becoming obsessive because if so then it could mean that your anxiety has changed and you are experiencing Relationship OCD. If your 'What if's' are persistent about this issue and not more general, then it could point to thus.

I would recommend you look at Mindfulness, especially MBCT & MBSR. MBCT is NICE recommended for recurrent depression and MBSR has studies backing up its successes too in helping people like us. It will help you calm your mind and no longer react to intrusive thoughts or negative thought processes which will give you a lot of relief as it can be relentless.