For the last 10 years of my life I have had the recurrent and extreme fear of developing schizophrenia or bipolar. I have a couple family members with both diseases. I suffer from anxiety and depression and at times when my anxiety becomes strong I'll feel convinced that at that moment I am developing one of the disorders.
I've been in therapy most of my life for anxiety and trauma and never was diagnosed or even considered bipolar or psychotic. And I've never really experienced any of the hallmark symptoms like mania or hallucinations. Yet I can't convince myself I won't lose my mind this moment or the next.
It's terrifying and I'm just tired of it. :-(